In that street on that same very corner he stands. Every day at the same time he appears, and stares at the hole in the wall there. Bricks lie shattered around his feet, and he stares and stares.

These words only make sense when repeated louder and louder until they reach the inner soul. Words that cannot be avoided.

Another long absence for which I have no excuse. I guess I'm just bereft of words. [I hope you are OK]

[4:48pm]

Is there someone right behind me? Or are you merely hiding in the shadows ahead of me, out of sight? It's like I'm paranoid, but I know there is someone watching.

Will there ever be an end to this wretched existence? The things said by fools and preached by the worst of the worst. But there is wisdom in their foolishness.

Pain pain pain. I've had my left nostril cauterised. The right one is getting burned in 2 months time. [I hope you are OK]

[4:09pm]

Marshmallow clouds and chocolate streets. Dreams dreams dreams.

Who are the real thieves? The real criminals? They must be the people who run the very countries we're so proud of. Stop being so hypocritical and burn it down. Burn it all down.

Bird flu is back in the UK. Can't say I'm surprised. You can't keep a strong virus down. Also, there have been calls to take UFO sightings more seriously. Cue lots and lots of hoaxs I imagine. [I hope you are OK]

[2:05pm]

They all walked past, heads down, with no expressions on their blank faces. This is not a celebration, this is not mourning, this is tradition.

I can hear you from the other side. Somehow I break down the wall and speak clearly for the first time in years. But I can't understand myself.

Hopefully this will be the start of more regular updates. [I hope you are OK]

[12:06pm]

The clouds float by and life goes on as normal. A light rain begins to fall. Suddenly the trees are on fire, tarmac is bubbling and people are being dissolved into nothing but puddles of mass. This, I decided, was no ordinary day.

If you add up the numbers one by one, you will find that nothing they say adds up. So what can we say when we cannot do maths?

So what to say? Since I've been gone I've dropped out of university, been to Australia and Tony Blair has stepped down and allowed one Mr. Gordon Brown take his place. And the country winced. What a world we live in. At least Radiohead came and saved the day with their new album, In Rainbows. Which is awesome, if you needed to know. [I hope you are OK]

[3:28pm]

Resurrection! After much soul searching I have decided to get this little site up and running again. Let's see how long this lasts. Expect updates and new poetry soon. [I hope you are OK]

[2:06pm]

I am not an amused person. My site is being killed, annihilated, destroyed, by pop-ups. I'm angry that I have to pay to write these words if I wish everyone to see them. I'm angrier at the fact that I cannot pay using PayPal, only via a credit card. So basically, I'd have to pay a credit company to be able to pay to have this little site. Which I am not going to be doing. R.I.P Waste Of Paint. It was good while it lasted. [I hope you are OK]

[4:10pm]

Eventually there will be another game to start playing. Eventually we will win something. But at the moment, we're only good at the game of losing.

If you can tell me in three words how we can save ourselves, then we will begin to worship you instead of some other false idol. We have nobody to look up to in these dark times, the clouds obscure our view.

The computers in the library were down on Saturday, and it was a bank holiday on Monday. Which is why I've only appeared today. I just saw Andrew Murray lose in the first round of the French Open. He suffered back pains from the third set onwards and never fully recovered. I hope he's OK for the grass court season. [I hope you are OK]

[3:48pm]

I do need to start atoning for the things that I have done. But not until I have finished doing them. I will not repent on my deathbed, I'll merely smile and then turn over, and ignore you all.

Forever. It seems like an amount of time that can never be calculated. But forever is a different amount of time to other people. A week, a month, a year, a decade. Nobody knows what forever is.

I was really close to calling it a day with this site today. But I'm going to stick it out a bit longer. Maybe just until the end of the year though. [I hope you are OK]

[3:58pm]

They have us eating out of their hands. With one hand they feed us what we want to hear, and with the other they raise the cudgel to pound us into submission. How can we win?

I can't grasp onto the floor anymore. I have to let go. I do so, and float up to the ceiling, will consequently crumbles under my weight. I keep going up and up, until everybody in the world can see me. I never wanted to get this much exposure.

This site is becoming more flooded with adverts by the day. I'm wondering if it's worth keeping up. I need to know people can still access this main page. [I hope you are OK]

[3:38pm]

Complaints will be dealt with at the front desk. If you require room service please do not hesitate to dial 0 on the phone supplied in your room. We hope your stay is comfortable. Welcome to the end of the world.

What if you're asleep when the sirens go off? What if you're listening to music loudly? What if you have double-glazed windows? I think they don't want us to know. We won't get a two-minute warning.

I drank too much with friends yesterday. I feel awful. I woke up at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep. [I hope you are OK]

[2:11pm]

I highlighted the wrong sections of this book and have been reading the wrong pages for the last year and a half. No wonder the wrong things are always said when I open my mouth and my books. I need a bigger shelf.

You are nothing without the smile that you carry around in your pocket. When somebody catches you in the back alley and steals that smile, everyone will forget you. All you'll be left with is a feeling of utter doubt in the human race's ability to change.

I'm posting news on so many different sites that I forget to mention it in one place now and again. Thom Yorke is releasing a solo album entitled The Eraser on July 10th. Go here. [I hope you are OK]

[1:29pm]

Innocence as a trademark and youth as an excuse. These are the things that we preach to be sacred. It must be time to change.

If you can believe that black is white and white is black, then I will have finally started something. I invented the knowledge that you now believe is your bible. So what will you do when I declare it all to be a lie?

I realise that the guestbook is having a few problems. But feel free to drop me an email if you have suggestions/criticism. Or if you just want to say hello. mikeyblighe@hotmail.com [I hope you are OK]

[4:54pm]

As they grow fat from the money from the taxes that people pay, we sit here and ponder what to do with the rest of our short lives. Should we find a dead-end job or forever sit around waiting to be famous? Work is for the masses, fame is for the few.

I remember everything, then I forget it all. Just once I'd like to be able to keep a memory intact. But all I can do is blur the lines and think of nothing but how to escape from the loop.

The party last night was busy. I did not stop all night. Today I'm fine. I also forgot to mention that my site has been up for two years now. Happy birthday to it. [I hope you are OK]

[1:50pm]

I've been sat alone on this bus since it set out from the station, but suddenly I notice an old woman sat at the front two seats ahead of me. How she got there I don't know, but she is cradling a ticket in her hand. I know I looked around the bus three times and saw no-one, yet suddenly there she is. The rest of the journey passes uneventfully, and we both get off at the last stop and part ways.

Night then day. Day then night. Sun then moon. Moon then sun. It seems to be a cycle we can't break, the perpetual passing of time.

Back in Bishop. Will I ever break the routine? Not as long as huge parties keep turning up in the cricket club. [I hope you are OK]

[11:53am]

He opens the present feverishly, admiring his handywork as the wrappings fall to the floor. But after the hard work, all he got was a box of nothing. Meant to represent the emptiness inside. The lesson was not there.

The curtains hurl themselves backwards and forwards, seemingly trying to escape from their perpetual state of being attached to the wall. They seem to be the biggest of enemies. I close the window and the battle subsides.

There were some big fall-outs last night at a friend's house. There had been alcohol consumption, and now I'm wondering what's happening. I'm going to Newcastle as usual tonight. [I hope you are OK]

[1:33pm]

When I went out last night I didn't know which face to wear, so I let the drinks do the talking. I staggered home and lost many of my faces in the rain.

Our favourite pastime is sitting here staring at the wall. We never move and never blink because we have nothing left to lose. So why go out and try to gain anything new?

Last night I had some home-made wine. Nectarine, rhubarb and elderflower flavours. The nectarine and elderflower ones were nice, but the rhubarb one was hard going. I went to bed at 4:16am. [I hope you are OK]

[4:22pm]

He steps right up to the edge and peers over. One day, someday, he'll have enough faith in himself to believe he can fly. But for now gravity holds him down.

There are signposts here that all point to the same place. Yet they are all pointing in different directions. This is how hard it is to find your way nowadays. Back then you could go anywhere.

The weather outside is abominable. I went out last night and had too much gin and tequila. [I hope you are OK]

[3:44pm]

Sometimes, feelings incite people to do things that they feel are right. But sometimes, feelings can be wrong. People fight for all the wrong reasons. All one-hundred and thirty-nine of them.

He's crouching down behind the couch again. He's sick of the lights, all he wants is a little time to himself. He puts his head between his knees and sobs. The television crackles into life, and the lightbulb burns so bright it looks about to burst. The last scream is not heard.

After handing in my test today, I'm not doing anything else all week. [I hope you are OK]

[11:33am]

He looks up, but still cannot see the peak of his problems. They're far out of sight, and he has only just begun to climb. I look down on him and wonder when he'll make it up here, the halfway point, where I'm forever trapped.

Time is something we can never have enough of. Count your seconds, because they say that every one counts. You must always know what time it is if you want to use it wisely. Wasting time is a pastime too.

I went to see Slither yesterday. It was quite enjoyable, and I'd say it's definitely worth a look. Today I'm doing nothing. My usual Saturday. [I hope you are OK]

[2:07pm]

His face appeared to go into double-figures when he was told the news. They wrapped him up in cotton and threw him from the sixteenth floor. He hit the pavement running and hasn't stopped since. Helicopters surround him constantly, but he never looks back.

You can find answers in the patterns on the carpet and the wallpaper. The noise from the television fluctuates. Up and down, up and down. The remote bounces off the screen, but the television still works. You scream instead, and the carpet suddenly makes a lot more sense. The wallpaper is still laughing behind your back though.

I rushed to the library earlier than usual because I thought an item ended today at 12:20pm. Turns out it ends tomorrow at that time. Well, at least I've got things done earlier. More time to do nothing. [I hope you are OK]

[12:53pm]

Once more I make the same mistake. Once more everybody stares at me. Once more I realise what I have done too late. Once more I walk home alone in the dark and the rain.

Like the fruits of forbidden knowledge the books lay there. He knew he was not allowed to even go near the bookshelf. But he could not resist the temptation any longer. Now he is blind to everything and everyone. No images will make him react and no words will make him listen. All the colours are melting. All the pages are burning.

Felt extremely lazy yesterday. Feel the same today, but decided to walk to the library for some fresh air. I suddenly feel very tired. [I hope you are OK]

[3:46pm]

It's a constant temptation to just stop. But the the dust will start to gather and I'll forget my name. I can't let that happen again.

A strange urge overcame them all and they decided that it would be for the best if they leapt from that building. However, they did not count upon the fallacies of gravity.

So today I thought I had an exam. I was worried. Turns out it's a takeaway test that I have a whole week to complete. I love lucky coincidences. [I hope you are OK]

[6:43pm]

Forever chained to the wall of fate, I stand here waiting for life to finish me off. I've been through all of this in such a short amount of time, now I'm just waiting to die.

The heat is becoming unbearable around here. The floor seems to be melting and my shoes get stuck in the road. I walk on, trying to stand the pain, but I can only walk for so long before I disappear.

Sorry about the lack of update yesterday. I had the dreaded flu yet again. I think I sweated it out yesterday. Stayed in bed all day. Silent Hill was better than I expected. There were a few moments and storyline additions that I did not like one little bit, but on the whole it was enjoyable. Also, I saw The Mystery Jets on Thursday too. And they were great. [I hope you are OK]

[1:56pm]

And then there was nothing.

There's more to be told before everybody leaves. But it's too late, they've already stood up to stretch their legs and soon they'll be gone. Back home. As I stand on the stage looking at the floor, I wish I could scream my lungs out.

I'm here finishing my essay off. Hope to have it done in a couple of hours. Then I'm free to go see Silent Hill. Finally. [I hope you are OK]

[12:29pm]

I climb up the drainpipe, but I don't know why. I know there's nobody here, nobody home. I'll forget everything I used to know, just so I can start anew. As I stand on the roof.

As the words of the speech fall and hit the floor, the echoes still dance around the ceiling. People look on and realise that they have just heard the most influential thing they will ever hear. Proof that words can fall on deaf ears.

I've been having a few days on panic and worry over the essay I have due in tomorrow. But I've discovered that I have the work I need at the back of the module guide. Panic may be over. [I hope you are OK]

[1:46pm]

Everyone seems to want to lose weight these days. Every store window advertises special offers on weight-loss programs and low calorie options. So what will we do when everyone is below their target weight?

Another burn mark on the carpet, he should be more careful where and when he falls asleep. When it comes to timekeeping, he always burns the house down.

I have to work tonight. There's an 18th birthday party coming in. I hope it's the kind of people that want to go down town later on in the night. I might get some peace. [I hope you are OK]

[1:43pm]

A lack of blood seems to be the cause. Just withering in the sun, then dying before the dawn of the next day. Such a fragile life we all live, out here amongst the trees and grass.

Mumbled words escape from my lips, and of course nobody hears them. But still they turn and look at me as if I have just damned the entire world into oblivion. Oh how I wish it were that easy.

Back in Bishop again. Managed to miss updating yesterday due to many factors. The two main ones were Grandia and Animal Crossing however. [I hope you are OK]

[4:29pm]

He wraps his old bony fingers around the rail and screams at the top of his lungs. She looks up and stares at him standing on the stairs. Then she stands up and smiles, leaning ever so slightly to the right. Then they both collapse.

I'm starting to believe in fairytales. Which shouldn't come as that much of a surprise after we've been led to believe everything else. You can take away my words, but you can never remove the things that I remember.

I got an Amstrad. I'm slightly underwhelmed. I don't know what I was expecting. I can't complain though, I do have Paperboy now. [I hope you are OK]

[5:44pm]

I cannot sit idly by and watch as everything around us falls apart. I must do the only thing I know how to do. Hide beneath the table and hold a newspaper above my head. Tell me when the storm ends.

I stare at the screen for a while longer. Still no sign of technology working for me. I play solitaire for a while longer. It's typical, the only time I ever win solitaire on the first try and I have nothing else to do.

I'm at work soon, and I haven't done anything all day except play Animal Crossing and drink. [I hope you are OK]

[6:37pm]

Through blurry eyes he sees the many mistakes he has made. But despite the water flowing between his pupils and his lips, he still cannot decide exactly how to solve the problem that he has.

This is not the first time I have blushed. I have made so many humiliating mistakes in my life that I dare not count them all up at once. Please just forgive me for what I have already done and let's leave it at that.

My fingers hurt. And I have been getting high and drunk in Bishop's Park. It was a good break from the norm. [I hope you are OK]

[5:42pm]

Like grains of sand being pulled into the current, we float along unaware. At the middle of everything there is nothing but a blue light that shines in the darkness but makes nothing clearer.

He sits up on the bridge and watches the river flowing beneath him, and he wonders how the water keeps on coming, never ending. People look up and wave, but all he sees are the stones making ripples in the water as he throws them down.

Another Saturday, same routine as always. It's very hot today. [I hope you are OK]

[1:48pm]

As the sand trickles ever downwards, so too does the water down the window panes. But I can turn this over any time I want, like a sun dial at noon there is nothing a shadow cannot cast itself over.

This town has changed. I remember the green grass and the quiet footpaths. Now everywhere I look I see people and cars. Times change too quickly for my liking. A summer's day is ruined by the thought of mud-caked 4X4s screaming down the country lanes.

Back in Bishop again. I brought my poems, and they are now available to Trespass upon. [I hope you are OK]

[4:38pm]

The blacks, the blues, the greens and the reds all fade away one after the other. But of course black is not technically a colour. Merely a shadow caused by the lack of other colours. But as they fade, I see nothing but this non-existent colour, such is my non-existence now.

Two buses go by, despite the fact that there is only one. Same number, same destination. The only dilemma is which one to get on.

I wrote another poem yesterday, but forgot to bring it, and the others, to the library with me. Tomorrow. Test Icicles were awful, worst live band I've ever seen. [I hope you are OK]

[1:01pm]

Place your hand on the screen and perhaps you will feel the vibration of my heart beating. Slowly at first, but then building to such a great crescendo that you may fear for our lives. But never fear, I can never die.

While we can still walk, we will still be able to fight. While we can still talk, we will still be able to lie. And while we can still think for ourselves, we will still never use that capability.

Heading back to Sunderland to see Test Icicles. Then I'll hover round for a while, then I'll come back here. Then I may even write some more new poems. [I hope you are OK]

[11:51am]

Can numbers on a screen ever change without being touched? 1985, 1966, 1942, 2001, 2104.

Compared to the anger we feel now, the strength of millions seems like nothing more than the push of a child. We march onwards and onwards, despite the fact that there is nothing to come to and nothing to find. Stubborn determinism is mankind's greatest folly.

Although certain people around me, or indeed currently next to me, need to die in a rain of tiny meteors ripping through his skin, I am being quite calm about him. Anyway, nothing much has happened. I've put a deposit down to buy a PS3, with the intention of paying £20 every fortnight on it until the release in November, when I'll definitely be guaranteed a console. Unless lightning strikes in the same place twice for Sony and their shipping problems. [I hope you are OK]

[6:31pm]

A tidal wave doesn't clean away all of our sins, the only thing we can do is hope that we can swim.

Frozen in the positions we were assigned to, we stand and stare at the building in front of us, hoping that one day we can see to the very top.

I had a very normal Easter weekend. Nothing amazing, just working and drinking and having a huge headache. [I hope you are OK]

[12:50am]

Also, there were words to be spoken that we can never understand! How can we possibly come back from this on a day like today?

I climbed up on to the roof to watch a light show, then my friends arrived and they all stared up into the sky. I warned them that staring into the sun was bad for their eyes, but they didn't listen or even move. So we are frozen.

I scooting back off to Bishop today, to go for another drink with another friend. [I hope you are OK]

[9:16am]

No truth is a lie, but there can be lies hidden within the truth. Pick a part that seems unabashed and unabridged and use it to your advantage. But never make the same mistake twice.

We have a distinguishable difference. There are things that only one of us can know. But somehow we seem so similar.

Here I am in Sunderland, enjoying things that got delivered. Namely Bubsy for the MegaDrive and Constructor for the PlayStation. That's the only reason I came back really. [I hope you are OK]

[1:53pm]

So there is is, the web of panic that has been spun around us all begins to take effect. Soon the demons will come and drain us of our self-confidence and belief in what we want to believe. We are golems, we don't listen to anybody but the people on the screen.

Throughout my life, I've noticed that people can be one thing and then another. Then suddenly, before you know it, nobody is who they used to be. Breaking down on street corners has become a habit for many people I once used to know as friends.

I hate the media, but I hate the gullible people that believe everything the news tells them more. [I hope you are OK]

[6:20pm]

And as if nothing had happened, they ventured out of the shadows and bid us all welcome. We were waiting so long to find anything, and now we can see everything. But this truth is being leaked too fast.

After counting the numbers up again and again, I still didn't come up with a whole number. I wonder how this could even possibly happen. Then I shrug off any doubt and being to count again/

I stayed up all night at a friend's house, and then got home and played classic N64 Goldeneye. I'm now excessively tired. [I hope you are OK]

[5:35pm]

Throughout the blackout, I noticed things that I had never noticed before. Things like how natural light dances on curtains, and how shadows slide skilfully underneath tables. One day, when there is no more light, we shall be more enlightened than ever.

If a day was stuck on repeat, how would you change it? Living the same life day by day and the only things changing is the date. But there are only so many days in a week.

Grand National day. I hate today. I have written some new poems. I was going to put them up, but I want to write one more first. [I hope you are OK]

[1:59pm]

One day I will notice someone who has lost their spirit and then things will only get worse. I'll stare at them while I'm crossing the road ahead of them and I won't even notice the car.

I thrive on the unfortunate fact that I will never tread in the right place at the right time. I know I will be forever one step away from reaching what I want to be. But that is what fuels me.

Nothing happened today. As expected. [I hope you are OK]

[5:29pm]

I stopped caring about your opinions years ago. Now all I care about is to how the days pass more quickly so that I can lie doen and forget about everything else. Problems are too much to handle for the weak of spirit.

He once held that crown high and believed that he could do whatever he wanted. But when it was snatched from his hands he realised that the one thing he could never control was the people and their own souls.

Back in Bishop for the Easter holidays. I don't see much happening. [I hope you are OK]

[6:16pm]

The train shuffles along the tracks, somehow seeming reluctant to get everyone to their intended destinations. People shuffle their feet uneasily and impatiently as finally a stop is arrived at. Nobody gets on or off, and the train continues it's slow march towards seemingly nowhere.

If you can find a fraction of light that can shine in only one direction, then we shall all be discovered. There is no beauty in my words, merely the truth, and that is harder to find than a needle in a haystack.

After spending much money, I'm ready to go and enjoy my new merchandise. [I hope you are OK]

[6:31pm]

Clouds can be reflected in glass and make it seem like you are flying. But never try to jump out of the window.

Crumbling decayed buildings. The same old sights that we've all been seeing for the last ten years since the collapse of normal society. We don't even attempt to believe in the truth anymore.

So here I am. Stoned and listening to The Flaming Lips' brilliant new album. It's sometimes good to be alive. [I hope you are OK]

[3:58pm]

We could have all had it so much better, buit we decided that the only route we could take was the one that was lit up and paved with gold. The other path may have been darkened and quiet, but all it takes it one person to place their feet in that direction and walk.

He was never certain of the time, always forgetting what hours and minutes and seconds were. But he always knew what day it was, as soon as the broken clock told him so.

Another Monday. Another day of sitting alone due to housemates being at work. [I hope you are OK]

[2:04pm]

We are all foolish, all fools and hollow shells of what we could have been. True success is not money, or fame, or power. True success is being able to say you lived your life and lived it happily. And surprisingly, most people do not.

I have used all of my space and all of my time to fill a room with things that will never become memories. Mere hunks of plastic and metal, that is all I really have.

PayPal finally verified my account. Hallelujah! [I hope you are OK]

[2:18pm]

Oh, the folly of eternal youth! How we endeavor to find it and yet at the same time why would anyone want to live forever? Some people yearn for the day their names are carved into stone, never to be forgotten. Never to be seen again, that is what scares some people the most. Hide behind a shroud of self-denial and try to escape from the fact that death awaits us all.

More and more chairs empty as people spew from the room. They've finally done it, they've overthrown a decision and they finally feel like they've achieved something. If only the smallest victory, it can still make the biggest difference.

Still no deposits from PayPal to help me verify my account. I'm giving them until this afternoon, and if nothing has come, I'm emailing them. [I hope you are OK]

[11:07am]

Never mistake a wall for a window, and never mistake a door for an exit. There is only ever one way out, and nobody can ever seem to find it. You can walk through doors all day and not find anything new.

And as the last star caved in on itself, we all applauded and sat back down. There was nothing left for us to do now, and there was nothing new to invent. For this was the very end.

PayPal are really starting to annoy me. I have eBay sellers waiting to be paid and I still have an unverified account. [I hope you are OK]

[12:58pm]

Do we have the capacity to say exactly what we want? We can try to claim that certain words are our own, but the truth of the matter is that speech is free to all.

Treason is met with suspicion and desolation. As every being in the area marched out to find themselves, others waved their arms and acquainted themselves with the study of meaninglessness.

Nothing has changed. [I hope you are OK]

[5:45pm]

It began to snow just after she died, and the sight of beauty and carnage mixed danced before my eyes. The conflicting designs tumbled and danced around each other, until finally we moved on.

Some elegant forest in the middle of nowhere catches my eye and I enter, complete with my sense of self-awareness and nothing else. After I walk through the trees and plants for a while, I come to the conclusion that curiosity does not always kill the cat.

Don't know what I was doing on Saturday to miss my update. Natural mistake. No update tomorrow either, there's a national civil strike on. No libraries, no university, no public transport etc etc. [I hope you are OK]

[4:55pm]

Crying out in the night for anybody to come to their aid. But people daren't leave their houses anymore for fear of everybody else in the world. We're all on red alert but no-one is listening to the sirens.

I count every ceiling tile in the room. It takes me what feels like forever. Then a door opens, but nobody comes in. It closes again. I tilt my head back up and see that the colour of the ceiling has changed. Again.

Back to Bishop pretty soon. I have a whole weekend of work. Which means more money for things I don't need. [I hope you are OK]

[1:19pm]

Punctuality is important to us, but it seems to mean nothing to the people we rely on to do our everyday tasks. We've been driving for so long now and every single petrol station has been abandoned. And the light in front of us is getting brighter and brighter. It's so desolate out here.

Competition rules: 1- there must be no rash actions, 2- there must be absolutely no rash decision either, 3- there must be fair play at all times, 4- no nuclear missiles, 5- no use of excessive violence. It looks like many of you are out of the game already.

Newcastle are out of the FA Cup. I should be more upset than I am, but it was a foregone conclusion. [I hope you are OK]

[2:38pm]

Open then close, there's no need to differentiate between the two opposites. As long as you can tell right from wrong, we don't mind what you talk about or what you say. So be quiet and pay attention.

The words are covered with blue and black dots and we cannot see past the lies that they tell. Don't fall for it, or you will be falling forever. Onwards into the blue and black.

I have been drinking yet again. I need to write an essay tomorrow. [I hope you are OK]

[7:17pm]

It was indeed time. And as the clock started to tick backwards, it fell off the wall and everything turned upside down. And in this topsy-turvy world we now live.

They ask the same questions again, just rearrange the words. If you listen carefully enough, you can hear the plans being formed, unrolled and laid on the table. How many more final questions can there be? He stands up and walks casually over to the window. Then he throws himself out of it.

Tonight I go to see Graham Coxon for the second time. He'll join the list of bands/artists I've seen twice along with British Sea Power, Bright Eyes, The Crimea, Maximo Park and Rilo Kiley. [I hope you are OK]

[4:41pm]

They kicked the door down and ran in all at once, without considering the consequences. A mighty explosion ripped through the building, and suddenly it was no more than a pile of molten steel and smouldering ashes. Some people never listen.

A blue door is locked, and a green one opens. But I always choose the black door, and always end up in the same room again and again. But the problem is, I don't like green.

A rare Sunday update, since I'm still in Sunderland. The Delays were amazing last night, they were well worth the wait. Plus I got a copy of their first album that I took with me fully signed. Nice guys, nice music. [I hope you are OK]

[12:19pm]

We are all ash one day, but we'd rather be sand. Scattered in the wind and washed away by the sea, only to find ourselves on some other distant shore. A tranquil afterlife is all I ask.

Throwaway suggestions are scooped from the litter bin and spread across the table in a smear of paper and ink. Soon these ramshackle ideas will be implemented and we'll wonder how we ever lived without them.

I'm off to really see The Delays tonight. Since the gig was cancelled last time, I'm hoping for one hell of a show to compensate for that. Especially since I'm missing earning money at work for this. [I hope you are OK]

[2:58pm]

I turn around, and the same scene is behind me as well. It seems that everywhere I turn things are the same. I try to tunnel my way to somewhere different, but just because the climate changes doesn't mean that I've found anywhere new.

Snowflakes are all that are left. They lie sprinkled over the countryside, forming a white sheet towards the horizon. Trouble never seems to loom in conditions like this.

St. Patrick's Day. Always a good excuse for a drink or two. Not that there's any change there. [I hope you are OK]

[2:07pm]

My only complaint would be that we never had enough time to celebrate.

We clamoured around the signpost that told us which way not to go, but somebody had scrawled hideous graffiti all over it.

I somehow managed to churn out an essay this afternoon. It is sub-par, but should get me a passing grade. Barely. [I hope you are OK]

[5:18pm]

Stories sometimes fall short of getting to the point, but that is were the mind comes into play. Making up your own ending can sometimes be better than being told what to believe.

Suddenly we become more aware of our surroundings. Sonnets scrawled on the walls and ballads on the carpet. The whole room is pure poetry, with nowhere to sit, and barely anywhere to stand.

A friend is coming to stay tonight. I believe there will be drinking. I have an essay due in tomorrow. [I hope you are OK]

[2:18pm]

Growth is dictated by nutrition. So without sunlight, we will lean further and further until we reach the ground. All things together and all things apart, we will never stop but never start. Luckless we shall fall to the ground, with nothing else to say or do.

If you beat the system, there will be nothing left to achieve. So why try at all? People come and people go, but you can only be you once in your life. Time is there to be spent usefully. Don't make the same mistakes as the millions before you.

I'm tired again. Freeservers have introduced a beta for the new member area. It doesn't look too different to me. It's just a bit slower at the moment. [I hope you are OK]

[5:42pm]

It came as such a surprise to all of the people underground. The air above was becoming hotter than they had ever experienced, and they knew that the time had come to investigate. Fire was raining from the sky, and the ash was covering every tree and every home. Causality called for the end of all things.

From treetop to treetop they skip happily, waiting to be devoured by their attackers. They obey and accept nature's law, but there are some who choose to deny their destinies.

I am tired. And I have nothing to do. And I have alcohol. So I think things will not be boring for too long. [I hope you are OK]

[3:51pm]

How does water run so smoothly yet blood flows so thick? The shot to the heart was all it took for the brothers to be permanently seperated. Now one is up in court and the other in is the cold, cold ground. Maybe it's me who doesn't see the truth behind people's eyes.

I have wasted so many hours, and so many days. I am deserted on an island of self-loathing and pity. But soon I shall construct a raft and escape from this sand and this misery. The trees sway gently in the breeze, but still stand so much taller than I ever will. My day cannot come soon enough.

I watched the "Stalking Pete Doherty" last night. Max Carlish is a strange strange man. Admittedly suffering from a bi-polar disorder, he managed to fall in with the wrong crowd and destroy his life. And nearly destroyed the life of Doherty himself. It was a riveting watch. [I hope you are OK]

[2:10pm]

The man by the side of the road weeps as he tells passersby that this day will only ever come once. And every second that passes can never be regained. I sit next to him and listen to his many stories, and soon I sink into my own mind and realise that everything he says is indeed true. He gets moved along by a police officer, and I am left stranded.

If a chain reaction ever ceases, things will fall apart. Every action triggers another action and so the system continues. The cogs never stop turning, and they will never stop turning, no matter what happens to us and our foolish planet in the future.

Yesterday the news did what it always does and tried as hard as possible to scare as many people as they could. I ignored them and went to sleep. Today I bought many things, like a huge amount of manga. And Mad Magazine. [I hope you are OK]

[2:12pm]

The people pass me by, and the pigeons continue to eat the scraps that they find until the seagulls come and bully their way to the front. I sit here and stare at the wall in front of me, wondering where I will end up when I get the energy to stand and carry on walking. The seagulls fly away, out to sea, their time is up.

What troubled times! How people can talk and talk and then take drastic measures! People, people, where have all the values of human life gone? And where will we end up when we destroy something we shouldn't?

The bomb squad are still here. Someone has been arrested. That's still all the public know. I've decided I want to buy the We Are Scientists album. [I hope you are OK]

[12:04pm]

Skylines are never as beautiful as artists intend them to be. The reds, blues and blacks can never be captured on canvas. We'll forever be in awe of the faraway sky.

People stand and shuffle their feet nervously as the facts are dictated. The dictator does not seem to understand everything she is saying. Facts are never what they seem when spouted from the mouths of fools.

There was a university-wide strike yesterday, and so I didn't get a chance to get on the internet. The university park has been cordoned off, suspicious packages apparently. The bomb squad have been there all night and still no word. [I hope you are OK]

[2:52pm]

I want to throttle all of my insecurites and flush my inner problems away. Unfortunately, small words like these will not cure me of my many ails. I must decide on which path to choose, but every one is the wrong one.

Competition is healthy. People need something to aim at, someone to better. But when the time comes to lose eternally, there will be nothing but alcohol and a blurred perspective.

I've had a normal Monday. Alcohol, and then a gig (Yellowcard) tonight. I'm going for a few more drinks. [I hope you are OK]

[4:30pm]

A typical after darkness falls scene. Yobs fighting outside clubs, bouncers pretending to be blissfully unaware while the police battle to restrain the mob. An elderly old man walks across the street with a solitary red balloon. He walks by unnoticed, and the fighting continues.

When I no longer want to be found, will I be able to escape as easily as everybody else did? When escapism becomes too much to bear, will I finally be able to face reality rather than flashing images and useless peripherals?

Another Saturday of work, drinking and not much else. [I hope you are OK]

[2:31pm]

How can things always start out so well yet end up in tragedy? But we can always write such amazing words after such a heavy fall. Thoughts that can be mixed up and then thrown out of the window for passers-by to find.

Never forget to remind me of the things I tend to forget. Birthdays, holidays, and sometimes what day it even is. Throw something my way and I'll catch it, but if I ever disappear, don't try to find me, because even I won't know where I am.

Well, back to Bishop for the weekend as per usual. I've had 6 shots. Strawberry and pear are very nice alcoholic flavours. [I hope you are OK]

[3:59pm]

Bricks begin to melt in the heat, and people are always forever asking me why I write words such as I did. As the light glows brighter and hotter, I can give them no answer. I just fade into the darkness.

Clamber up onto the rocks and hide beneath the only ray of sunlight you can find. The snow soon buries everything and everyone has to find a roof to climb up onto. What the purpose of their acts are, I don't know. Welcome to the second ice age.

The Crimea gig was fantastic. I chatted with the support bands, got a CD signed by one of them (Clearlake) and got patted on the back by The Crimea themselves. I felt like I knew all the bands personally. It was the best gig I've ever been to, if not for the music then for the atmosphere. But the music was all good. [I hope you are OK]

[2:30pm]

Clarity suddenly opens our eyes, and as we stumble around in our new found light, some of us will fall. But most of us will make it to brighter shores, only to be dashed up on the rocks.

A man is not an island, but still we do rise to the surface and float away. One by one we will sink into the icy depths of blue.

The Delays gig has been delayed until the 18th of this month. Ironic, don't you think? Anyway, I'm off to see The Crimea tonight. [I hope you are OK]

[3:48pm]

This was never a year of victory or failure. This was just another year of that drudgery we all carry around with us. Twelve minutes of the day cause us to light up, and the rest of the time we sink back into grey.

People look ridiculous when they dance around corners and slide along corridors. A living hall of mirrors, that is where we live. But there are never any real reflections of real people.

I'm going to see The Delays tonight. Should be interesting. Better give the album and the brand new single a bit of listening to before I leave. [I hope you are OK]

[3:03pm]

Your weakness is that you talk too much. Neverending ceaseless babble. And you keep replying to other people long after they've stopped asking you questions. So take those words and try to keep them in your mouth.

White rooms are the warmest, the walls never seep into blurry hazes of different colours. Only the television in the middle of the emptiness can alter my mind now. I stare and stare and never find anything new in originality.

Another week, another heap of lies, sleep and avoiding the eyes of others. [I hope you are OK]

[3:22pm]

I am slowly being drained of inspiration, and everyone can see it floating off into the distance. Everyone leaves me and begins chasing after it, leaving me sobbing in a heap on the ground.

Power denotes green, and danger denotes red. How the roles have changed in these modern times. The world revolves around sounds and lights and colours and signposts.

We never seem to change. And my days are all the same. Something has to change soon. I can feel a big event looming on the horizon. [I hope you are OK]

[12:31pm]

There is air all around me, but I find myself unable to breathe. I keep walking, hoping that maybe my lungs will begin to work again soon, but eventually I fall to the ground gasping. The air doesn't affect me anymore, all I can do is keep trying.

Simply speaking there is nothing left.

I managed to forget to update yesterday. Don't ask me how I managed that, but I did. I slept in today, I was meant to get picked up to go back home and work. We all make mistakes, like going out when we have to be up early. [I hope you are OK]

[4:17pm]

Alas and alack, there are always words to be backed. Why can people never learn? When will the world ever turn? I think we're going in the wrong direction, thorough examination is needed to prove the facts and falsehoods. But people never stand up to be counted.

The world is spinning in the wrong direction, this seems to be a continuation of another thought. Grab onto the closest thing and claim it to be the solution to all your problems. Then fall to the floor and kiss the feet of the corruptors.

I'm going for many drinks tonight. Hopefully I'll lead a full life someday. But that's another story. [I hope you are OK]

[4:21pm]

I tried to forget, but imagine locking up thoughts like this in small enclsoed spaces. The key would clatter to the floor as the door bursts wide open. There's no locking things like this up.

Certainly I feel an apology is in order. Unfortunately I can't see past the smokescreens to get to you and do that in person.

It's my dad's birthday today. I'm too tired to write anything else. [I hope you are OK]

[1:43pm]

Rifle shots are heard in the very distance. The kind of distance that is unknowable. Bright lights dance if you look through the thick trees for long enough, and then the red rain falls all around us and we are lost.

Grey light trickles into my room and I wake with a start. Every time I close my eyes faces I don't recognise shoot towards me in the darkness. I turn over and open my CD player with one hand and fumble around for L.A. Woman with the other. Music is my only aid.

I managed to forget to update yesterday. Today I will be at work. And tomorrow as well. [I hope you are OK]

[3:37pm]

Steam rises from the body, it hasn't been long since this person lost their life. Now there are only four of us, what are we to do? We can't run forever, can't avoid the sirens and multitudes of killers. We're in the middle.

Words fail to fail me and I freewheel for hours on end. To people, to myself, to anyone I see. Even when they took me away, I still couldn't stop talking. Years and years of feelings were coming out in one long aural burst.

I've been taking time out, lying around and not doing anything. This week has been empty of words and feelings. Perhaps next week there'll be more emotion. [I hope you are OK]

[2:03pm]

Blue and green is all we seem to be able to see. The reds have eluded us lately. The rain drips down from static vehicles and people lean out of their windows to cool down. Everyone is running away from something, but they'll never get far enough away to be comfortable.

A carrier bag on the wind catches a power cable and wraps itself around like an errant lover. I hug myself in this cold, and wish I had a carrier bag of my own. Feathers billow around my feet, dancing with lost leaves, and then I see that there's been another accident in the middle of the road. Careless people can end lives so quickly.

I went to see The Rakes on Tuesday night. It was interesting. I enjoyed the support bands (Switches, Duels and White Rose Movement) a lot more than I enjoyed the band I was there to see. When The Rakes came on, the crowd went so wild that I couldn't concentrate on the band and had to "Retreat" to the back. There was a little in-joke for Rakes fans there. But the gig would have been more enjoyable if there hadn't been the constant threat of me passing out all the way through. [I hope you are OK]

[2:00pm]

As you breathe (and I suffer under the weight of your smile) I can hear cracks appearing in the walls (and the ceiling is sinking too). You stand (and I slide further down in my chair) and walk to the bathroom (the door closes and everything caves in).

Collisions in mid-air make no more noise than a whisper. A mere light show for our enjoyment. Grab a seat and lean as far forward as you can, there's a big finale coming for us all.

What can be said when nothing has happened? As you can see, the main page has become full once again. Evacuation Part 2. [I hope you are OK]

[1:25pm]

Shivering and frozen to the bone, he sits and carries on weaving baskets. The snow collects all around him in the alleyway, and people walk by and offer their condolences. He sometimes mutters things under his breath, and sometimes he hums a little tune. "The wheels turn, but people never notice, how I feel, how I feel."

As the colours of the sky collide with the ground (grey on grey in this inner-city slump) people slip into dark areas and laugh whilst burning money, while we scrabble around on the floor for something to eat.

I think I'm over the worst of my illness. I just have a very bad, painful cough now. Gigs: The Rakes (tomorrow night), The Delays, Yellowcard, Graham Coxon, David Ford and The Crimea. [I hope you are OK]

[10:37am]