I Lied All Along

I can see beyond the stars but I don't see much
To be honest I don't see much here either
All of my feelings are begging to be touched
Even after that I'll be none at all the wiser

What kind of miracle are you expecting?
I cannot weave any more lies for you
All of your thoughts are ever-suspecting
But let my words help to guide you through

Blood trickles and drips down the walls then congeals
But it's only a trick set to trip my mind
Your wayward and errant mistakes have been revealed
And your confession is now self-signed

Now here we are and it's four years afterwards
We're caught in a blizzard like a fish out of water
You pull my arm so hard I fall backwards
The end of the line for this son and daughter

Conducting An Insulator

It's hard to act so damaged
After surviving the wreck
So many feelings to manage
Since you broke my neck

It's hard to walk so straight
After lying for so long
The floor can hold my weight
But it's not where I belong

It's hard to smile so wide
After throwing myself around
All my words are lies
Even when I don't make a sound

It's hard to shine so bright
After living in the dark
I fell from such a height
But never left a mark

It's hard to live so cleanly
After ruining everyone
Now who can live serenely
Since all the sympathy has gone

It's hard to close my eyes
After not sleeping for weeks
There were lows and there were highs
From the mighty to the meek

Suddenly

You're such a tragic character
In such a tragic time
Light up all your candles
And find a simple rhyme
As an insult to injury
The clock will keep counting
Stealing hours away
And the days are mounting

You're just a photograph to me
Just a faded image
But still you're on my desk
In this faded vilage
We're all long dead before we're born
I guess that's destiny
You can't cheat fate or death
Despite your scrutiny

You're never there when I need you
But I expected that
Flowers are there to be crushed
Wherever I have sat
Did I managed to miss the point?
I don't know why I'm here
My mind is lost at sea
So this is my career

A Fraction Of Convenience

He finds it hard to see colours
Everything is getting duller
Now he cannot blur the line
He just blurs himself with wine

The bottle preaches him his gospel
His glass confesses but never tells
The carpet moves him closer to God
But he awakes without a divine nod

His phone never rings at all these days
If it did he wouldn't answer anyway
Every word is louder than it seems
And harsher words will invade his dreams

Suddenly he has a glass full of regret
He drinks it in case he ever forgets
Causing tears makes him cause his own
The record sinks into a drone

A funeral doesn't make him scared
And his feelings will not be bared
Finally he knows that it's the end
He likes to think that he can pretend

He never found himself a solution
To fight against his own revolution
But his story didn't end too soon
He should have seen one more full moon

Memoriam (The Drowning Rebellion)

What will it take to tune the world?
To calibrate the rights and wrongs?
It must be time to make real plans
Instead of just writing songs
So lay down your pens and unite
Let's meet in the square at dawn
And rip the town apart at the seams
Until every page has been torn
Turn all the clouds into rain
To wash away all of the shame
And remember every other's pain
Every other comrade slain

An overthrow is beyond their reach
I watch them drowning from the beach
They fled from harm and stole a ship
Before they escaped they were hit

What will it take to save their lives?
To have them spared a watery grave?
The power he holds is not enough
Soon they will fall victim to the waves
As for me I am on the run
The ringleader is precious to them
An example must be made of me
And all because I laid down my pen
Turn the confusion into clarity
And the plans into policy
But do not give me any charity
I know I'll die in disparity

Final Judgement

The floorboards creak as I creep down the stairs
The front door squeaks as I sneak from my cares
I pick up my bag and head on home
Where I can finally be on my own

As I walk the streets I feel an ill wind
Someone nearby has lost hope and sinned
Lights and noise float by me unnoticed
I knonw that every soul seeks only justice
But my thoughts stray from this hypocrisy
When I see the leaves falling from the trees
How we fall from grace is very similar
And now this image is all too familiar

The streetlights blink as I sink into my bed
The carpet fades as I wade through my head
So many thoughts are haunting me
The of all my memories

With my mind so full of confusion
I give way and let in my delusions
Mysteries of my past that dared not return
Now giving me some lessons to learn
When lights hits my face I wake with a start
All the blood rushing straight to my heart
And just when I think I am going to burst
I see the black suits pull up in their black hearse

Spirit Me Away

Beyond the tunnel lies a mysterious town
And an adventure
When you were small you nearly drowned
Shoe in the river

Now hurry on and meet with wondrous things
Child so full of wonder
The day will come where you will gain wings
And weather the thunder

In the boiler room you will earn some friends
After a rough start
But soon they'll know you have kindness to spend
And the kindest heart

All the way up to the top floor
Your story will begin
Your youth and your future are at war
And only one can win

Now try your best and keep working hard
Some mysteries await
A river to clean and a greedy mouth to starve
Before you meet your fate

Time to take the train that runs through an ocean
To meet a kindly twin
Now our story is nearly at its' end
But our futures are akin

God's in His Heaven and Life is Just a Bowl of Cherries

God's in his heaven
And life is just a bowl of cherries
God's in his heaven
But I am in no hurry
God's in his heaven
And the stairs are harder to climb
God's in his heaven
But at least the sky is mine

Lies and smiles are sold for free
But it costs more to buy an enemy
A pretty face buys you some respect
But you can't have your soul back yet

God's in his heaven
And my right can't buy a wrong
God's in his heaven
But I never survived your song
God's in his heaven
And there are things I'll never know
God's in his heaven
But I can just go with the flow

Lies and smiles are sold for free
But it costs more to buy an enemy
A pretty face buys you some respect
But you can't have your soul back yet

A Different Language

Slowly my insides turn to water
And I see you beyond my glass
Past crumbled bricks and mortar
To fail you I have to pass
Then the roof falls in again
I have to do all of your work
This weather drives me insane
Where else can my confusion lurk?

I know a girl who never cries
So she never has to dry her eyes
But everyone is dead inside
Even if they've never cried
The tape reel stops there's no more space
So it must be time for you to stop too
We can disappear without a trace
And live in shades of green and blue

Will I ever return to the past
To change the mistakes I made?
This fairy tale will never last
Everything will blur and fade
But I still remain tight-lipped
I can never reveal what I know
The bud of your plot will be nipped
To allow a new flower to grow

Windmills In Hurricanes

Darkness fell like a drop in the ocean
You can't carry a tune or a motion
With your back to the wall you stand accused
You beg for forgiveness but are refused
We are all dying and so is our sun
We have lost more battles than we have won
When the time comes to go out with a bang
Will the yin be aligned with the yang?

I will try to hold on, though the feeling has gone
And when the tide comes in, I will try hard to swim

There is no time to set your story straight
The garden path leads to no garden gate
People on the phone telling me to hide
And I'm trying my best not to pick sides
If I could I'd change my identity
I lack the money and the complexity
It's a sight to see, lights reach up high
When I listen I can hear every lie

So the truth is all wrong, we knew it all along
Now we need something real, and a feeling to feel

Loquacious Critics

The last frozen image of normality
Is laid on the table as evidence
To explain what caused the calamity
That turned us all into nonsense
Every word has become a crime
Every one of us has crossed the line
Since the sun stopped shining that day
There is nothing to see besides the decay

More accusations are brought forward
But the blame cannot be laid at all
Which leaves us in a situation quite awkward
And from civilised talk to bar-room brawl
Lost upon a sea of misplaced trust
Watching as people turn into dust
So the scene closes on our woeful tale
Into our coffin goes the final nail

Short Not Sweet

Press your name into my memory
So I will never forget
File me in the wrong category
And then erase my debt
Push the oxygen from my lungs
So I can only breathe you
And their songs will remain unsung
But their words will still be true

Hold your fears closer to your chest
So I can push them away
There is nothing I can suggest
Now you're on your own today
Keep your smile behind the mirror
So that things can be reversed
You're in the arms of a sinner
Whose every move is rehearsed

The Power

I sit with your ghost at the dinner table
Then go next door to get some plates
After you smashed all of mine yesterday
Now the food is gone it's half past eight
I've got to stop standing to your attention
I've got to learn to be at ease
This after-dinner conversation will end
And don't forget to leave your keys

You sneak into my bed without a care
I will sleep downstairs no more
This time I turn and let the emotion flow
But a blank face is all I draw
You, my mind, have been missing for so long
I don't know why I still argue
It's just a conversation in my head
That I can no longer have with you

I'll rewrite you and give you and give you a new name
This is the power I have
I can throw you away or just let you go
Or blame you on a dream I had

Redoubtable

Was I finally worth a second look?
Or am I just reading the wrong book?
So here I am on the final chapter
All of these pages and still no answer
Just tell me if I read too slow
It's a little fact I need to know
I'm in the country and then the city
Different places but the same nitty-gritty
How much water can be flung from the sky
Before the rivers are all sucked dry?
The waves crash while we sit and burn
And we stand static as the world turns

As we steal our power from the ground
There is a crash, a deafening sound
We stop in our tracks and stare and stare
A decision has been made from the chair
The highest seated voice rings out true
All of this world is not just for you
Then we turn around and carry on
We can wait until the power is gone
Pictures on walls don't tell the future
Our peers are not our only tutors
We will not all find our rightful place
We will only lose our grips on faith

Where I Landed

Throw another stone into the river
The chill of the wind doesn't make me shiver
My skin does not register the cold
Don't dig here there is no gold
Suddenly it's night-time here comes the moon
Have I really been stood here since noon?
Nine hours later and no steps taken
All who embraced me are nor forsaken

That date has passed on the calendar
But I only watched the river meander
Nothing could be seen from my back door
No need to make a fuss anymore
Bad timing mixed with my bad taste
Too much of my effort went to waste
Laying around wasting more than time
Watching TV that's past it's prime

Now one day means nothing at all
Never admitted to dreading that call
Walls falling down then being carried away
Brick by brick I watch the decay
Sure my mind is only on one track
At least I'll never be on the attack
Although I can't guarantee safety
I haven't been swinging lately

Words I could say, words I could write
Words I should burn, set the paper alight
Words that spell danger, words I don't like
Words that burn me, all on fire tonight

Digging My Grave

I am no longer human, my skin deceives you
I lost myself many years ago
I can no longer do good, if that will please you
I'm not scared by what you know

A heart growing cold like a dying sun
Behold the beast that I have become
Unable to hold any virtues as truth
Losing all aspects of my youth
While I grow gracelessly old
I discard everything I used to hold
Closing in all the words I wanted to speak
Trying to embrace my thoughts all so bleak

Now I spend my time cursing my past
All the days that went by too fast
I had so many plans but not enough time
Before I knew it the church bell chimed
A whole night wasted all I did was think
I should have just poured myself a drink
Now every day is full of regret
I will always be in my lifes' debt

The View Through My Opaque Eyes

He paints his room in shades of black
He just wants his future back
If I broke him he would shatter soundlessly
Spreading shards of himself so needlessly

I walk along a bridge with no resistance
I could have become a dot on non-existence
But he took me by the hand and lead me away
Saving me from leading myself astray

She came along and handed him a smile
She took him away for just a little while
He came back to tell me he was leaving with her
Now he's gone how can I not suffer?

We used to spare each other minutes to speak
We kept each other sane when we felt weak
Now what should I do when I'm down and out?
I shatter soundlessly under the cold eyes of doubt

A Bright Shadow On The Horizon

These are the rules, this is the game
This is the way they'll decide my fate
I'll flip the coin and roll the dice
So I can know the best words to write

I could pull myself together
Just to live in exile forever
Or I could forward a notion
To justify my static motion

Back to my first point I'll return
Nothing around me is my concern
But every day my eyes still rain
When a new disaster stakes its claim

Now I am nowhere to be found
I see the leaves falling to the ground
I sit cross-legged upon this hill
From the cup of death I've had my fill

We All Fall Down

While you smile at strangers I play with fire
The risk we run is slowly getting higher
Which is why I have to arrest your development
And get rid of all the packaged love you sent
The same old complaints stressed in different ways
Finally reaching me after all of the delays

While you dance in shadows I'm in the open
All the promises we made have been broken
And although I know that patience is a virtue
I'm tired of waiting to hurt you
Let me in I've been stood here all night
My eyes are heavy I must be a sight

While you sleep it all off I guard the door
Now it's my turn to have just one more
I slip into an undesirable state
A frame of mind that we all love to hate
And when the sun greets me through the window
I will wake up to one more day of the show

A Sweet Opiate

Beyond the white rabbit lies a predator
Beyond the broken clock lies the true time
Ripping pages from last years' calendar
Rocking back and forth humming nursery rhymes

Death is not something I could glorify
In truth it's something I'm trying to avoid
An end like that I could never justify
But still you continue to keep me paranoid

You run your fingers across smooth metal
I dive in and interrupt your moment
Swept back to visions of fields of nettles
That stinging sensation is no longer dormant

So again I saved myself from my own hands
I swallow hard and sing myself to sleep
Ignoring all of my body's demands
As I dream I drown in water too deep

What You Are

You are my joy, you are my sadness
You are my light, you are my darkness
You are my love, you are my hate
You are my freedom, you are my fate

You're my biggest contradiction
You're my happiest route to friction
But all the while I wonder
Just what lies beyond the thunder?

You're my biggest stupid mistake
You're my happiest induced state
But all the while I wonder
Just what will tear me asunder?

You're my biggest wonderland
You're my happiest simple sham
But all the while I wonder
Just what made me make this blunder?

You're my biggest loveless crime
You're my happiest waste of time
But all the while I wonder
Just what made me slip under?

I Ran Down An Angel

I like you just the way you are
The night I hit you with my car
It was so dark I could not see
Will nature's wonders never cease?
What I saw I could not compare
To the time I did not care
About what happened to my world
After I got rid of that girl

I wrapped you up in polythene
Then washed the blood from my windscreen
Just wait until my best friend sees
What has become of humanity
I'll keep you fresh and keep you warm
I'll see you better in the light of dawn
Then we can see what to do with you
We can fix you up with tape and glue

Look at my perfect creation
Made out of devastation
It may have been an accident
But surely you are heaven sent

Parade

Wide eyes and a scared expression
A face that paints such a pretty picture
My mind wants me to say this out loud
But before I do you sink into the crowd

Sweet smile and a barrage of beauty
A presence that makes me colour blind
Dropping comments like I drop my thoughts
I can never look to you for support

Soft hands and a daring touch
A graceful elegance brushes by me
You should carry a sign marked "handle with care"
You walk by me like I say "beware"

Tough stare and a lust for control
I would notice all your victories
Nothing to do with me or my ways
Just you fulfilling your day-to-day

I head back now with my head full
So full of images from that small room
Settling down is never on my to-do list
Being flighty and free now that is my wish

One Night Ruined

A simple wish to be fulfilled
Won't everyone be happy and thrilled?
Finally I have come to a decision
So please don't give me your derision
I want my happily ever after
All wrapped up before the last chapter
We can close the book and sleep easy
And turn our backs on my tragedy

But the pages still must be read
The final words still have to be said
Then we'll burn the book and praise the smoke
I'll hold my breath and try not to choke
The flames create a darkened sky
As the fumes spread their wings and fly
Duck and cover soon only ash will remain
I'll wash whatever's left down the drain

I'd hold you tight but I have to leave
I have problems like you would not believe
When I get home the guilt sets in quick
My brain and my feelings need a swift kick
I decide to listen to my favourite song
But the words hurt me, this is all wrong
Then the song ends and I can relax
Until the writer and his lyrics attack

Love Is A Crime

I caught her during a drunken religious turn
Clutching her crucifix close to her heart
She never usually cared since she was hurt
But her beliefs they won't let her rest

I found him unconscious in his room
The floor seemed to hold him tight
The empty bottle I spy spells doom
Now I know this can't be right

I heard them dying in each other's arms
Breathing deeply for the last time
To them death has a forbidden charm
This can only prove that love is a crime

They saw me standing at their window
Where I caught a glimpse of blood
Then I ducked back into the shadows
As any form of Death rightly should

A Visit From A Past Grave

I never meant to kill you
My aim was to destroy your life
Look what you made me do
This cost me more than the marked price

Down the streets I will go
The aching of your heart with me
My footsteps will be slow
This guilt must be coming for free

I try to get some rest
But your ghost keeps me cold at night
You're an unwelcome guest
You keep stealing all of my light

You always haunt my dreams
Even though I apologised
I'll find some ways and means
To have you exorcised

Never One For Long Farewells

I'm dropping myself from the team
Before I ruin your achievements
No longer in the way of your dreams
Your futures' can all look radiant
The loner at the back can be gone
Disappear and not be missed
Never missed by anyone
So now I'm crossed off your list

The streets look familiar at night
And after I've had a few drinks
I stumble and grab onto a streetlight
Then slide to the floor and think
I ask myself just where I went wrong
And how I could be this low
My remaining days seem too long
My path is too long to follow

I lay in bed thinking these things
Then add up the good parts
I end up with a minus and no wings
So I can take off and leave my heart
I'd leave it all behind to feel better
But that is a fickle solution
What I need to be is a go-getter
And thrive on my own pollution

Finally I shake this away
These thoughts getting me down
I need to prepare for a new day
When I can wear a brand new frown
I shut my eyes tight but sleep won't come
Even as the dark surrounds me
Being this way is a shock for some
But it's the only way I can be

Tomorrow Is Always A Day Away

I swear I saw your eye catch my eye
But this isn't what I need right now
I'd best stand up and leave this room
Before I break my personal vow

I swore I'd never feel this way again
Once in a lifetime seemed enough
I've pushed all feelings further down
But the waves they break so rough

Memories of times flooding back
Time when I thought I was happy
There's no way I could fool myself
Being alone is when I feel free

So despite your very best intentions
I left you wondering tonight
I'm the one who isn't trying yet
Just trying to be out of sight

In the dark I can write the best words
Words that clear me of my crimes
I can drift to sleep free of worry
At least until the sun rises

Then another day of this begins
A day of avoiding my emotions
A smile may give you the wrong idea
I no longer have devotions

We Need A Scapegoat

How does it feel to swim against the current?
Defying the flow of everyone else?
The door of light it opened so briefly
I'll keep what I saw to myself

There is no structure to my reasoning
Or rhythm to my thoughts
It's all a tangled web of pessimism
Lacking the perfection I sought

Some people's problems tower high above mine
Your mountains to my molehill
I don't want to cheapen your experiences
I do it against my will

My voice rises high above this terrible din
My words cut through the noisy air
As all and sundry turn and prepare to listen
I am struck speechless by their stares

In All Climates

I must shock you with my trust
As I sink slowly into the dust
Write all your thoughts down for me
So I can lie down comfortably

When it's my time to reappear
I know my mind will still be clear
Ready to take down fresh notes
Then I can tear up what I wrote

I'll be honest with my bare hands
And do the best that I can
To lead myself into danger
Into the arms of a stranger

The ice makes sure I stay cold
As I slip and lose my hold
Sliding across an icy plain
Going back the way I came

Redevelopment

Behind a closed door an old man weeps
He wants to tell all of the secrets he keeps
Just two doors down there's an old worn-out house
It's only home to an agorophobic mouse
Tomorrow this street will have been torn down
Room for more condos in this town
Our old style is now out of touch
Now that their shove has come to push

Anything could happen in this angelic land
But we'd get the story second hand
The sky could fall down we'd be in the dark
Many years of solitude can leave a mark
A scar that is always on display
This modern world is the reason to be afraid
We wash our hands of the sorry affair
There's no more room for despair

Happy New Year

There goes my life, blown away on the wind
There goes the knife, to cut free my sins
There goes my chance, a lasting impression
There goes circumstance, the funeral procession
They all wonder who it is in the box
Bowing their heads for a black car
Underneath all of the dirt and rocks
Will a brand new life start?

There goes the month, still lingering here
There goes my front, singing of good cheer
There goes the night, filled with missing time
There goes my right, to freely lose my mind
Here's to another year of nothing new
Things may change but to what end?
We will all still be confused
With an old message to send

The Liability

I woke up down and lacking in glow
Remember that suicide pact we wrote long ago?
Well tonight I'm keeping my appointment
And we can die with each others' consent
Cards are spread in different suits across the floor
With my best suit on I head for the door
Once on death you used to depend
Now you play tragic eyes for your friends

Back out in the chilled evening air
I walk slowly and let the wind play with my hair
The great outdoors is the best release
Endless country and endless peace
Beyond a dream I waited for a clue
I never got one I only got you
But now we're on such different paths
One running slow and the other so fast

Toluca Lake

As one door closes, a new one opens
But one day this must stop
I will be faced with a blank wall
My final place to drop

To invent a new way of living
Is an impossible task
Follow a path that is approved of
Wearing an everyday mask

But all these words are nothing new
I'm a pessimistic rerun
This modern life doesn't suit me at all
Underneath a dying sun

Every day leads us closer than death
I curse every morning
All life is an eternity of minutes
A thought that is so daunting

I can try and follow the crowd
And still feel out of place
So I'll keep myself to myself
To run a lonely race

Calling on the final curtain
To end this empty show
No encores and no applause
Just lights turned down low

Act III

This frown seems to be all I can keep
From when I wake to when I sleep
I don't know where to place the blame
Whether on my mistakes or on my shame
My thoughts are a constant U-turn
I forget anything I learn

I can pick out all of my faults right now
I can't block out my thoughts they are too loud
There's no pattern to my fluctuation
And no reason for my frustration
It's just a part of me undiscovered
I was held too close and overmothered

I stare ahead but never concentrate
Even when words are handed over on a plate
My position in this world is unclear
My role in this life isn't far or near
I get carried away and overdramatic
A short attention-span is too problematic

Could I not be the tragic hero
Who stands up high and takes the blows?
I'll discover my flaws in my final scene
I wish I could have been a different theme
My words can't be heard by anyone else
I know my problems can't be helped

I'm only here to make you think a little
About the way you are
Forget about me I'm the background music
Leading you to your star
Then when the show is over and done
I'll lead you to your car

Midnight

You can live life on the edge
I'm jealous of your freedom
I can't see your face from here
You must be having too much fun
All the ays I hate you surface
I have to turn and run
This scene is not how I should live
I am no longer young

I set myself up for a fall
My views set to pessimist
I make my move and close my eyes
This time I can't resist

After the party ends tonight
I'll shake my head in shock
The silence pierces every corner
I check if my door is locked
Maybe I should have stayed
The only sound here is the clock
I listen to the time being stolen
Like my wasted hours are being mocked

I set myself up for a fall
My views set to pessimist
I make my move and close my eyes
This time I can't resist

When the sun breaks through my window
It steals my sleep from me
I rise from my bed to stare in the mirror
I can feel myself breathe
The outside looks hard to bear
Razor grass and looming trees
What I passed up haunts me already
So I must sink to my knees

I set myself up for a fall
My views set to pessimist
I make my move and close my eyes
This time I can't resist

A Sound We'll Never Hear

Get your things together we've got to leave
There's no more time left on this earth
I'm not joking there's nothing up my sleeve
The world is heading close to a rebirth

On and on I'll go to escape this fate
But if I get caught I'll clean my slate

Too late for a reversal of fortune
Things have gone far beyond the pail
No such thing as morning, night or noon
But it all at the end of existence sale

On and on I'll go to escape this fate
But if I get caught I'll clean my slate

The familiar shape of that cloud
I know I've got to get somewhere else
All this screaming is getting too loud
Now it's too late to cry for help

On and on I'll go to escape this fate
But if I get caught I'll clean my slate

Imagine how it feels to be caught out there
Melted by a screen of burning light
With all we have why should we care?
No difference at all in what I write

On and on I'll go to escape this fate
But if I get caught I'll clean my slate

A Fitting Depiction

Nature owns all that we have
But humans are the centre of attention
Holding down important facts
No wonder we never find contention

Money doesn't buy you everything
But some people try hard to believe
A lottery winner will always change
For the worse and his family will grieve

Theories can all be proved wrong
But the world needs turning upside-down
Rather than just inside-out
The feeling of mind-shattering sound

The second stage is always harder
But after that anything is possible
Never worry about how you feel
I know your fear, it is understandable

Rain washes away all evidence
But the scene of a crime still remains
Running away can never help
A criminal will always end up in chains

Working hard gets you nowhere
You just get old before your time
But if you all threw in the towel
Who would make the sun shine?

Thinking In Italics

So if you change your mind and come to my house
I may decide to give you a warm welcome
But I think you'll avoid me completely
To leave me like this is to render me numb
If I was cold before then now I am frozen
I can't move from this spot I have found
Slightly worried now and completely rock-bottom
Calling out for help yet not making a sound

Comfort is found at the bottom of a barrel
Two weeks without you seems an eternity
I've run out of things to pass the time
So sick of staring at a blank empty screen
Coming round to the idea of losing you
Nothing a little therapy can't solve
Pills and sleep and daytime television
Maybe my existence isn't why the world revolves

I must have said this a million times
Talking to myself when midnight arrives
Then disappears as soon as it came
Time is stealing our hope and our lives
Theories like this get me nowhere at all
I'll just find the floor and a carpet burn
I'll keep leaning on the walls of my mind
When they fall is when I'll make a return

Double Take

I'd rather not trust myself to that rope
I still believe in the chance of hope
The executioner has an evil glint in his eye
It doesn't matter to him who lives or dies

I remember that night I remember it well
My mind had so many stories to tell
Lying crumpled and broken on my floor
Now I will be removed never more

There's no comparison between me and death
But there aren't many differences left
My pen and my paper stare at me blankly
I accuse them both of hypocrisy

I know how I look I'm not a sight for sore eyes
But I'm not as bad as my image implies
It's easy to prove how normal I can be
But harder to tell you the whole story

Sing me a song that isn't so easy to see through
I know you've got lies to tell within your truth
Sometimes the days they all feel so long
But sometimes my thoughts are all wrong

So take a bow in front of your adoring fans
It won't be long before your flight lands
I'm not going to be there to wave goodbye
But I hope you have an unhappy life

The Foreseeable Future

These afternoons are filled with drudgery
They hold nothing new just the same few hours
I let the water kill the soap suds in the sink
My mind wanders to thoughts of dying flowers
Promised myself I'd water them every day
How could I forget a promise like that?
Such a simple task that I managed to avoid
Now I can't even put on my usual act

I'm undeterred by gravity
I'll float away even when it tries to hold me
I'm unabashed by reality
I'll march on even when it tries to halt me

I admire the strength that water has
Flowing forever never stopping in its trail
On and on until the end of our world
In the future everything will be stale
Once we're all gone there'll be no sell-by dates
No traffic jams and no news bulletins
What's the point in worrying about the inevitable?
There's no good in the world we live in

I'm undeterred by gravity
I'll float away even when it tries to hold me
I'm unabashed by reality
I'll march on even when it tries to halt me

As radio stations disappear one by one
The people begin to swarm the streets
Looking for the flash that means certain death
How the months shrink into weeks
It is after all only a matter of time
But don't waste what time you have left
You must be wondering if I'll be scared
Well I am but this is for the best

I'm undeterred by gravity
I'll float away even when it tries to hold me
I'm unabashed by reality
I'll march on even when it tries to halt me

Freedom Through Paranoia

Sitting at the front of the room
I feel all the eyes on me
This all has to end pretty soon
I can barely think or breathe
But I chose this place myself
It's my fault I'm stuck here
I'm waiting for this hour to melt
And that time draws near
Time that slowly drips away
Then evaporates into air
Forming clouds of black and grey
To rain when our thoughts repair

Which patterns stand out the most?
Am I just chasing forgotten ghosts?
In the sun or in the storm
I will run until the dawn

Talk about me in hushed tones
Subtlety is a forgotten art
I'm reduced to skin and bones
And even stripped of my heart
Anger holds me back for a while
Their voices don't get through
I'm out of fashion, out of style
But with the greatest view
I'm making plans for my escape
Plans that will not fail
I understand the missing tape
Can be the coffin's final nail

Which patterns stand out the most?
Am I just chasing forgotten ghosts?
In the sun or in the storm
I will run until the dawn

Four Easy Steps

With a whimsical smile and a wave of the hand
I reveal to the world all my best-laid plans
The plans I made to have a reasonable future
To stop myself turning into a miserable creature

Step one is to take myself out of sight
Step two is to shelter myself in light
Step three is to smile at my misfortune
Step four will come to my mind soon

With a quick burst of energy I'll disappear
I won't be far but I won't be near
Far enough away to block out the pain
Near enough to return again

Step one is to take myself out of sight
Step two is to shelter myself in light
Step three is to smile at my misfortune
Step four will come to my mind soon

With a few weeks spare I'll waste my time
I could tackle all those hills I have to climb
The longer I leave all my problems alone
The harder it is to get blood from this stone

Step one is to take myself out of sight
Step two is to shelter myself in light
Step three is to smile at my misfortune
Step four will come to my mind soon

With a successful and overdue return
I come back with nothing new learned
My new plans will be drawn up one day
The next time all of my skies turn grey

My Own Decision

I miss the freedom of being young and näive
Then again who doesn't?
Then again who does?
I miss all the things I used to believe
Then again who couldn't?
Then again who could?

What does walking have to do with my brain?
Will someone please explain?
I wouldn't change myself to escape misery
That's only up to how I react
My life crept up on me so suddenly
And threw everything off track

Why do I feel like I'm losing energy?
Will someone please tell me?
I walk around but just as a shadow
I left my body behind me at home
They tell me happiness is over the rainbow
Is happiness being alone?

Where could I go when everyone is dead?
Will someone clear my head?
If you want to rush me I must refuse
My only way is my slow pace
There's only one path that I must choose
It's written all over my face

When can I return to my happy memory?
Will someone please come clean?
There's no turning back so I'll go forward
The road stretches out so far
But to walk it now is better than being cornered
I'll just nod and follow my star

Exit Stage Right

I am forcing an end to your game
This is the last time you'll fool me
I take leave of your cold arms
To escape this ruined city

A quick look back and I'm away
I'll walk off and exit stage right
Although blurred visions tell me to stay
I can't become the words I write

Not another message mistaken as mine
I drop my phone and look skyward
The time is right and the weather is fine
I should go on I really should

The nights get longer so this is winter
I know what it is to be cold
All of my future is burnt to a cinder
I've stopped searching for things to hold

My mind locked me out how could I go on?
I'm a victim of my own thoughts
Realising now that I was deadly wrong
I can't afford what I have bought

I am calling for an end to this mess
That consumed my every second
I don't care if you couldn't care less
My anger is to be reckoned

Set Sail

Stop telling me things I already know
The second time round is worse
Stop trying to guide me through this snow
The white fields are no curse

What should I do when I'm feeling used?
I'm fed up of being second on the list
I can't keep myself free just for you
But I can't let anyone else steal a kiss

Stop telling me these things again
This time round I won't listen
Stop trying to guide me through this rain
This isn't a competition

I'll try to keep my intentions clear
But I can easily confuse you all
I can't be the one to dry your tears
If you phone I won't answer your call

Stop telling me I know I have failed
The final time I'll hear you
Stop rying to guide me through this gale
This captain abandoned his crew

Now I'm a million miles away
And free to feel what I want
I pulled up anchor and set sail
I'm aiming to be in front

A Mindscape So Constricted

If I were free what I wanted to do
I'd say goodbye to everything and travel somewhere new
To satisfy my need to discover true beauty
But I'm tied down by my schedule and my duty

My walls melt away to reveal a different scene
I thought I'd locked away all this horror
It's been stored up in my head since I was sixteen
But now it's taken a shape and a colour
I try to hide under my sheets in the dark
Now the horror is rapping at my door
This fire won't light there is only a spark
Everyone is here to even the score

I wish I hadn't tried to fool my friends
You ask me what I'd call it well I'd call it defense
Then I'd leave before you turned it around
Slip into another world never to be found

Digging a safety pin deep into my skin
Watch everyone turn and offer sympathy
If I could I wouldn't do myself any harm
But I appreciate the pity
It's no good being addicted to feeling lonely
I need a better hobby to pass the time
It's not helping me acting out this melancholy
I'm not stirred by the clock's chime

Friendly Advice

A rhythm can catch your ear
A song can change your life
My words are crystal clear
My voice cracks tonight

No matter which way I turn
Every person is a closed book
I'd be the last to open myself
But why do we never ask for help?
People don't change even with the seasons
If you need them find the reasons
Add them up we are all too scared
Tell our truths we would never dare
This is the death of our society
Everyone is too high on anxiety
We wonder why we never win
It's because we keep our fears within

A rhythm can catch your ear
A song can change your life
My words are crystal clear
My voice cracks tonight

Letting ourselves fall even deeper
This pain can be bought for much cheaper
The moment we gave in was the last
The last moment this play had its cast
All there is now is a sea of haze
We are all too stuck in our ways
If we drink we fly off the handle
If they do it they cause a scandal
This is what ruins us, this divide
We can't pretend to take it in our stride
Stand up now and be counted
Never again will we be doubted

A rhythm can catch your ear
A song can change your life
My words are crystal clear
My voice cracks tonight

To The Broken Many

It feels like centuries have passed
But not too far back in the past
Nothing could ever make us split
I loved every minute of it
But now we're here in the present
And my feelings aren't so pleasant
There's a huge space where you once were
The days that pass are one big blur

Help me out I'm losing my soul
The fire of my heart has no coal
It leaves me cold leaves me glum
All of this love I just need some
Being on my own for evermore
Can't take the thought fall to the floor
There's a huge space where you once were
The weeks that pass are one big blur

How many more clichés pass by?
I just fail every time I try
Try not to see you at your best
I will simply fail all your tests
And skulk back to my hiding place
And try to hide my love-lost face
There's a huge space where you once were
The months that pass are one big blur

The game is played and I have lost
But I never cheated and never crossed
I just tried to be the perfect guy
Head in my hands now I ask why
So far I haven't moved on much
I haven't really healed as such
There's a huge space where you once were
The years that pass are one big blur

To The Broken Many (Reprise)

To the broken many that litter the streets
Know that you'll be loved again
No matter how low you lie inside yourselves
Someone will call out your name

You're broken, you're many
But that's not the last straw
You're trying, you're failing
But that's what trying is for

To the broken many with no hope at all
Know that the world is waiting
You may be aimless with nothing to gain
Just listen to what I'm saying

You're broken, you're many
But that's not the last straw
You're trying, you're failing
But that's what trying is for

To the broken many who cry every night
Know that things cannot get worse
Cling to the fact that you're still alive
Before all your feelings disperse

You're broken, you're many
But that's not the last straw
You're trying, you're failing
But that's what trying is for

To the broken many wherever you are
Know that even misery ends
So you can claw at your sadness all you want
You'll soon be a dead trend

You're broken, you're many
But that's not the last straw
You're trying, you're failing
But that's what trying is for

Osmium Weighing Your Heart Down

If you dig that pen into your vein
You wouldn't be the only one to feel the pain
But that's too far from the issue
Yes we care and yes that's really true
One day we'll all sit down together
And toast our happiness let it last forever
What trips you up today will be gone tomorrow
It will turn into a bird and fly away with your sorrow

I don't want to throw hope in your face
But I don't want to see a friend fall from grace
If you want to cry then go ahead
Don't keep it all in get it all out instead
Better late than never your tears can flow
Then after that you can keep putting on a show
We'll be waiting here in case you fall
Pay no attention to my petty bathroom scrawls

Maybe some day I can take my own advice
But for now these words are yours
I'll keep letting life attack from all sides
But you should anchor happiness on your shores

Darker Skies

I'm spread out so thin
Just like my lies
The night lasts so long
Behind closed eyes
We can shut it out
This pain of ours
But it will not go
As the mood sours
I try to stand up
Shame fills the room
Fall back down again
Into this tomb
Look into your soul
You stare right back
Losing all control
What did we lack?

Perhaps it was for the best
Now we can look back at it all
But your face shows your detest
For me and my mistaken call

Sometimes when I try to think
The pain I caused is evident
So yes I pour another drink
To blur away things I never meant

The Accidental Traveller

I'm happy to be going in the wrong direction
Pushing past everyone and attracting no attention
The way I've never figured out which way to go
Makes it easier for me to walk along on my own
Once I was constantly treading a path unknown
But now the mysterious path feels like a second home

When the time comes for me to walk the right path
I hope I've learnt my lessons from the shadows cast
Finding out their origins and their true shapes
Until the sun withdraws and they make their escape
Then in the darkness I will walk unaccompanied
Which is always a daunting task indeed

I find myself resting in a house of course
Where all the dust is drawn to the nearest heat source
And there's something solid right above my head
Replacing the usual starry sky instead
The warmth is all that I appreciate
I never cherish the chance to sleep late

Now I can get back to placing one foot before the other
After I manage to drag myself from under the covers
I could never tell anyone where it is I am heading to
It's been too long all I do is wear down my shoes
The weather out here has formed a truce with my skin
And that's all that seems to be what's keeping me living

One Way/Another Way

I'm sure I can win at this game of losing
The other defeated ones will never catch me snoozing
I'm fully aware of the right way to be wrong
This hall of infamy is where I rightly belong

I've gotten all this way with every wrong step
All my broken promises are still being kept
I understand myself that's why I'm still confused
The puzzle was solved before any of the clues

I love all those books that I never read
While I sat around on my own drinking instead
I can see why you all look at me that way
Even though my back is turned away

I'm sick of being one way then another
Living in luxury why is it I suffer?
I hate keeping all of this bottled up in me
Telling all my friends about being unhappy

Dust Covers

All he does is drink wine in his room
Trying to seem elegant but he's just a fool
Running away from problems is not a solution
He's filling his mind with dejected pollution
All he does is throw away his free time
The things that he lacks are hard to define
He shouldn't waste his life away trying to be sad
He's done nothing but waste every hour he's had

Can't he see how much we all care?
Why does he wish that we were never there?
His mind's not in the right state
All he's thinking of is distaste
He's never been the same since she died
No emotion at all he keeps it inside
Like someone who is lost at sea
He'll give up all hope too easily

He must hand is all over
To get his life back
The dusty room is made over
Bright colours to black

Partially Removed

As I walk down my street
Disillusioned litter brushes past my feet
All for the sake of a little gust
A cigarette packet is lost in the dust
As the sky grows darker around
Dusk is falling without making a sound
In this little humdrum place
It's so easy to find yourself some space

I'll sit up on my rock tonight
I'll relive all my finest hours
I'll take so many pictures tonight
This place is mine, not ours

Take it all for granted
So many local seeds were planted
There's never anything to watch
But that can be solved with a glass of scotch
Aware of historical significance
Every stone has some kind of relevance
Alleyways at their darkest
I realise at night this town has no zest
I'll sit up on my rock tonight
I'll relive all my finest hours
I'll take so many pictures tonight
This place is mine, not ours

Make Your Point And Leave

The only way to make a point is to lose some friends
Rip your story up and start again
The only way to make a point is to lose some respect
I'm not going to rip this story up yet

All I want to do is make my point
I no longer care what people think
We all need the freedom to say what we want
As the world as we know it shrinks

I won't waste my life on a wing and a prayer
Just keep things simple please
Staring at circles all the way home
Then pondering over diary entries

I'll leave this wasteland behind me
This sea of destroyed dreams
I shattered a few of them myself
My honesty is not what it seems

Now I'll leave my bag is packed
I can't bear to wave farewell
Nobody could mean that much to me
This place has been my personal hell

The only way to make a point is to lose some friends
Rip your story up and start again
The only way to make a point is to lose some respect
I'm not going to rip this story up yet

Nodding In Agreement

Time is a mistress who likes to be in control
The ticking of a clock is the stealing of a soul
As a moment passes so does an opportunity
Missing a chance to start my own community

Staring at the stars may soothe a guilty conscience
But it's simply not a solution to any problems
Got to stop causing pain to all those around
Need to leave quietly and not make a sound

Spice up my life I'll take a holiday somewhere
Pulled in by the lure of some foreign air
But since I arrived nothing at all has changed
It seems my tragic life is now on a stage

Unsurprisingly I'm never amused by the facts
Never amused by fate's unrelenting attacks
Do not worry though I can still hold a smile
I can still beat life away for a while

There are those night I can barely stand
And then those night where I don't make a plan
No matter what I do it doesn't make a difference
I always end up staring into non-existence

You can't reach me now no matter how you try
No-one can stare further than into my eyes
What lies beyond that belongs to me and me only
It's nobody's business if I'm growing cold and lonely

Steering Into The Sun

Kick back and enjoy the calm
While you have the chance
The peace will be shattered by violence
So savour your last dance

We're steering into the sun while stuck on auto pilot
We're slipping out of sight and sneaking into silence

Sit back and enjoy the show
While we can still breathe
It will be the greatest sight
That we will ever see

We're steering into the sun while stuck on auto pilot
We're slipping out of sight and sneaking into silence

Hold back tears enjoy the ride
While I choke back blood
The closest we'll get to heaven
And to being understood

We're steering into the sun while stuck on auto pilot
We're slipping out of sight and sneaking into silence

Push back fear enjoy this time
While our lives grow short
Breaking barriers never even touched
Look how well we fought

We steered into the sun now we are truly free
We've got no-one else it's just you and me

A Real Me

If you don't understand me I can't ask that you do
I'll have to leave it to chance that you might break through
Claw your way through my defensive words
Win and you will see the real me

I'm twisting and turning I refuse to be broken
But I'd rather be shattered to pieces than be outspoken
Pull apart my old fading costume
Look carefully there's the real me

Maybe I can't take your friendly advice
I ask you are you men or are you mice
There is no reply from the silence inside
Are my feelings scared or have they died?

Being led on but I don't have a clue
Is this how it feels to be this shade of blue?
Checking over my shoulder far more than I should
I just thought I was on to something good

Looks like I'm still stuck in my old ways
But trust me it's just a silly game I like to play
Rip off my bitter unsmiling mask
After all this time is this the real me?

I have a way of making people worry about me
It's not a talent it's a curse I fight off daily
Now I may be smiling at the world
But this still isn't the real me

A Changeover

Don't push me the most fragile of minds
I could easily walk or push you away
If I fall asleep I'm done for
At least that's what she always says

Welcome to my dump of a home
I've given up my material possessions
Our great depression is our lives
While I try to make a good impression

You are not a beautifully unique snowflake
Just a cheap attempt at rebellion
What is happening a million miles away
It won't end it will carry on

We just had a near-life experience
A crack team of only the best
I've got to get away from this madness
To find an easier contest

Dominance

I turn the page now like it never was there
I notice the change in height when I go up the stairs
And another day reflects another image to behold
And another sale of life leaves more feelings to be sold

As you wash away your sins, they drive in the pins
As you wash away your pride, they watch from the side

I call your name out like I knew it before
I see the lights making your skin assume colour
Another night out is ruined by my raging screams
And another friendly face is not as it seems

As you wash away your sins, they drive in the pins
As you wash away your pride, they watch from the side

I look past the misfortunes and focus on the smiles
I think I'll have to take time out for a while
And another simple gesture is misunderstood
And another lonely forest is not acting as it should

As you wash away your sins, they drive in the pins
As you wash away your pride, they watch from the side

Larceny

I can be a very reasonable guy
But this fact is thrown behind us all
Every time I make an attempt to try
I end up not getting past the door

I used to know what it meant to be me
But now that's a point of contention
Every time I remember how it feels
I end up greeted by repulsion

Come on with me dear
There's no need for fear
It's just a short trip
That will never end
We'll drive to the coast
And steal out own boat
Sail away no problems
Throw away our worries

I relax on the hull of our new find
But soon there will be no more games
The death warrants have all been signed
Soon I must surely be tamed

They can catch me but I'll never talk
The surface of another true conspiracy
I cannot shake the delusion of being stalked
There is no more room for theory

All I've Had

A place for me in the future
It's a carefree wish
There's a place for me in the past I'm sure
A place I can relish
Call me up and tell me I'm safe
I might be convinced
Feel the excitement of the chase
But keep your distance
Come with me for a walk outside
My dear oldest friend
There's something you need to decide
Have I reached the end?

I sleep only when I am clear of thoughts
I drag myself across my mind's wasteland
I am up for sale and out of demand
I see my body is running unmanned

A loss for me in the meantime
I arrived too late
Who knew this space was only mine?
I did subjugate
But now they're not under control
My feelings run wild
I'd like to run yet still be bold
Going out with style
Reasons to mourn are hard to see
Hard to justify
Hard to keep, so hard to believe
And hard to come by

I sleep only when I am clear of thoughts
I drag myself across my mind's wasteland
I am up for sale and out of demand
I see my body is running unmanned

Malpractice

There's love, there's hate and then there is light
But only if they like
Sitting around a table where no-one cares
All that is discussed is who gets a share
Thankless jobs that are acted in habit
Waiting for a timeless time where they get credit

Found out some actions, a cry of touché
Laid down some futures, a thought for the day
Changing is a way forwards
Changing is a way backwards

Get a taste for speed, a latent resolve
Paths cleared for contempt, a lost life involved
A way through can save no-one
A way out can save everyone

There's lost, there's found and then there is time
But only what we find
To discover that everything was burned for no reason
It is afterall that time of the season
What lurks in the blackness does not matter
These lowly seeds that men always scatter

So Many words

Those final shots were out of pure spite
So don't read too much into them
It's not the time or place to start a fight
Just forget what I've already forgotten

Everything is bearing down again
I'll push it all right to the back of me
The possibility of being glad with what I've chosen
Is second-to-none and owns me completely

Falling over myself to get back home
Never thought I'd miss what I once hated
Now that my soul has been replaced with stone
I need to know why it was vacated

Yes it is true I used to smile once
That isn't just a myth held by my friends
I was gold then silver and finally bronze
Listening to my words and the messages they send

Becoming aware and universally acknowledged
A lifetime's work flushed down the drain
But you have a squeaky clean life to keep polished
While I look at my chances in vain

Spending more days indoors while admiring the outside
Lacking the wisdom and the capacity
I can see why they feed themselves on pride
Searching for the best route to publicity

Hate In The Morning

I can feel my heart beating no matter where I place my hand
As my dice roll and hit the table I find it hard to stand
When people trespass on my feelings it's quite uncomfortable
When they question my stability it's understandable

The days drift by and I seem to be fading fast out of sight
But if I leave quickly now I'm just trying to be polite
Bringing down the atmosphere is not what I'd call a talent
When you come face to face to me know you're facing a challenge

I'll reword my thoughts to win the argument
I'll rethink my words to make them cement
Then I'll turn my back and remain silent
To become lost in some other's torment

I'll huddle close to this dying flame
Remember the hour that the fated time came
But I try not to dwell on the past
I look forward to my future coming at last

Revelations that could take me down a notch
I never even survived my own night-watch
This isn't the ending I planned in my head
This wasn't my time yet to end up dead

Uproot

I have to dispel all the rumours
While waiting for the rain
I need to rule all the rulers
While waiting to complain

This wasn't the man we sought
This wasn't the man we thought
But now we're stuck with him til the end of the flight
Yeah we're stuck with him for all of tonight

Tread carefully over the tracks
Tread carefully over the facts
They've been laid out but spun around endlessly
Yeah they've been laid out with courtesy

Swallow your words bite your tongue
Swallow your words failure will come
What you say will be drowned out by the masses
Yeah what you say will not reach all classes

Incommunicado

Nobody can achieve their true ambitions
The knife makes its way to the incisions
Your injuries are beyond contemplation
Your attitude is cause for frustration
I am a statue to your ill fever
Something you can mould to your will
But I could be fate's own deceiver
Watching as our world stands still

All that I've achieved is suffocation
Now everybody else lives in elation
One that has missed out on this time
An era of joy and freedom of minds
Good luck now it's something you need
We all live and will die alone
Time moves slow I want a little speed
Sometimes though my words are overblown

It's a mystery that I cannot solve
Even though I break down the walls
Cut me free but I am still bound
Tied to this lost restricted ground
I cannot help but lose some memory
Whenever I learn of another trauma
Or of another's tearful story
Apathy can make me feel warmer

Closest To The Sun

I need to breathe sell me some air
I'm finding it difficult to raise a care
All we need is oxygen for our lungs
Yet more time and space for heroes unsung
They leave us so far from the public eye
But we can all look up to the same sky

Bowing down to the almighty dollar
Controlled by the black-tied white-collared
A workforce that shifts opinions around
Making sure that their opposition is drowned
We can never hold on to morality
They own all of our reality

Close this up, it's a textbook case
He thought he was stuck in a race
A race that he knew he couldn't win
A race that didn't even begin
The therapy and treatment has failed
In this darkness we are all so pale

Now it's my turn to seek solace
This line alone was my only promise
A penny for my thoughts is extortion
I'll raise my defenses to retortion
Nothing we say makes them listen
Nothing we do stops a decision

Will Of All

All you can do is scrutinise
Are my words up for sale?
All you can do is criticise
Will I lose without fail?
All you can do is agonise
Are my thoughts in demand?
All you can do is demoralise
Will you never understand?

All you can do is cause decay
Am I doomed to fall down?
All you can do is cause dismay
Will I lose all my ground?
All you can do is never say
Are my writings wasted?
All you can do is paint it grey
Will you kill your creation?

The Only Artist

A picture is painted by the stars
The sky mixes the colours for the night
Everyone can see the art evident
It is literally a heavenly sight

Hold a light up to the art above us
Make sure to keep an eye on passing clouds
Every day hides something new to see
Until darkness wraps the sky in its shroud

We can only dream of making art
The only beauty is kept by nature
But she makes no attempt to hide it
She makes sure we all see this picture

Even if others do not see it all
You must never lose your perception
One admiring eye could save something
And see past all the evils deceptions

Foil-Wrapped

I've got a way with words they said
But their words went over my head
I can't believe in what I do anymore
But they want my words more than before

I don't need anyone to impress
But there are reasons for me caring less
I wrote them down a painful list
But now I'm a shadow in the mist

I can be lost whenever I please
But they find me with their own ease
I wander then I get followed
But one day I won't be shadowed

I know that you don't want to know
But time is short and I have to go
I believe in my own disbeliefs
But all of my truths lie beneath

I want to see my thoughts animated
But a blur is all I've created
I threw away something I need
But I found it among my misdeeds

I showed up with nothing to say
But no-one showed me the right way
I think that sets the records straight
But I don't have time to celebrate

Letter To A Dead Idol

You really aren't who I thought you were
You made yourself out to be the best for her
These words are ripping your legend apart
Could you have ever been a good man at heart?
I hope, I pray that you held your own
When your seeds of jealousy were sown
Raising up your hands, you were mistaken
But it was the same mistake you kept making

I still look up to you, mistakes and all
Everyone has their flaws, even saints fall
And I would heed your beck and call
And I would let you make me feel small

Any movement makes you jump out of your skin
So many faults we don't know where to begin
Do I have to keep repeating this speech
Even though your time has already been reached?
I'm sending you a message for your attention
So you may finally rest in contention
Whether you received it never mattered
But if you heeded it I'd be flattered

I still look up to you, mistakes and all
Everyone has their flaws, even saints fall
And I would heed your beck and call
And I would let you make me feel small

Superimposition

Seperated from everyday life is how I'd like to be
I'd like to stay out of the loop for eternity
When I wake up I see my bed is a mess
Maybe I should act like I couldn't care less
But I would never change for anything
I wouldn't be reborn just to stop sinking
Yet I still try to make something new
Like a puzzle to solve without any clues

Eveything disjointed
Baptised and anointed
Dipped in silken wax
They never came back

A constant wailing that keeps gaining volume
And a corporation willing to consume
You can't help but look at it in horror
All the same shapes painted a different colour
Everything I believe is mere speculation
But I know this is an unescapable situation
I'm compelled to cry out in agony
All anyone wanted was our money

Eveything disjointed
Baptised and anointed
Dipped in silken wax
They never came back

The Routine

These could be the last words I ever write
Who knows what could happen to me
Existence just seems like a drawn-out game
Or shallow water that turned out to be deep

This could be the last time I ever speak
It's another forget-me-not
Handed down from past to present
But the future's been pinned down and shot

All that was and all that will be
The steps are carefully planned
Written down for only me to view
Hidden until my last stand

All that was and all that has passed
That does not mean a thing
I never live on stolen moments
Just the moments happening

Sounds so familiar they ring again
They draw me back to here
But I still don't know where here is
It doesn't seem far or near

Sounds so familiar they must be mine
As I tread my only path
I chose it then and I choose it now
Look out here comes the crash

Pinpoint

It has come to my attention
You need an honourable mention
My brain is in contemplation
My heart it needs no persuasion

And here is where you come in
To tell me if this love's a sin
If I could be so honest
I would've been your loyalist

But it's just a bathroom scrawl
A dire note scratched on a wall
It doesn't make sense at all
Just a statement so small

All I've had I've thrown away
All I've thought I didn't say
I'ma victim of my own mind
You'll never find my hidden side

I turned it round and now I'm lost
There was grass here but now there's frost
Ushering in a brand new Ice Age
Locked inside a freezing cage

A letter that'll arrive too late
A message past it's sell-by date
Every word will simply rot
But they once formed a healthy plot

Lament

I'll make my peace with anger, shake hands with hate
I'll give a nod to malice, smile at disgrace
Welcome to my misgivings, my lonely place
Won't you join us as we dig my grave?

I'll wave from my position, ready to leave
I'll head in one direction, I am bereaved
Welcome to my crazy world, you'll be deceived
Won't you push me over the edge please?

I'll be anything but myself, hiding the truth
I'll never be content now, in front of you
Welcome to my inner thoughts, a darkened room
Won't you listen to me talk them through?

I'll misuse someone's power, get me restrained
I'll spread lies about this life, I'm a blood stain
Welcome to my room of spin, where you'll remain
Won't you try to understand their pain?

Backed Away

Everyone else seems ready for a party
And I'm ready to lock my door
Someone thinks that I need a new hobby
But I don't need anything more
Just give me a tall glass of isolation
That would ease all of my frustrations
Loneliness is just another situation
That might take some procrastination

Everyone else seems to wave goodbye
And I will hardly notice
Someone thinks I'm no surprise
But I already know this
Just give me a life free of shame
That would help me pass the blame
Embarassment will help me find fame
That may save me from the flames

Everyone else seems to accept me these days
And I didn't seek pity
Someone thinks that I'm falling from grace
But I'll drown first in this city
Just give me a peaceful existence
That would save me from decadence
Ambition could save me from romance
That would save me from this last dance

Being A Metaphor

Find one lover get one free
A curse that always finds me
I can never be kept close
Take me I'm an overdose

Easy to find and easy to lose
I am a short-circuit in the fuse

I will head straight for your heart
Put the horse before the cart
Don't get things the wrong way round
I'm the silence then the sound

Easy to find and easy to lose
I am a short-circuit in the fuse

It turned out to be my loss
I cannot be my own boss
Yet this was never my aim
I am a piece in this game

Easy to find and easy to lose
I am a short-circuit in the fuse

You know I can be depressed
When I can lose interest
But I'm never down all day
I am the worst tragic play

Easy to find and easy to lose
I am the short-circuit in the fuse

Bitter Tragedy

Every time the fear comes like a plague
It takes my security away
You can always try but still be vague
But that doesn't mean you shouldn't stay
Who was to know about the grand scheme?
It makes more sense to believe in words
Project what's right and wrong in your theme
Here's a being who must not be disturbed

I always need a new wall to climb
New obstacles to be overcome
To clear my head I need some more time
Happiness comes easier to some
I'll find something that's universal
And cling on like there's no tomorrow
It's time for the play's first rehearsal
While I watch I can drown in sorrow

These actors can play their parts so well
This has got to be a sell-out show
We've got so many stories to tell
Before your soul gets dragged down below
It's the ending I always wanted
The final twist that ripped you apart
By your tears I will not be daunted
I'll just drag myself back to the start

Dilapidated

No frills or logos adorn my chest
The crowd can move without me
A balanced world is what I detest

It doesn't matter what I see
I can't be moved enough
One is enough company

Grab my failings by the scruff
Fling them into the street
I haven't forgiven trust

I'll stay frozen in my seat
Until the world forgets
And accepts its bitter defeat

I see this as considerate
Even if it is unfair
Replacing rubber with real pellets

Red alert but I'm not scared
What's done is done
Just try not to be there

Make ideas easy to shun
Easier to criticise
My life's a loaded gun

Trouble's brewing in our skies
This danger has reached its best
An end is covered up by lies

Blurred Recognition

I awake, this dream is over
My eyes see reality
All my thoughts fall apart
I see my crime scene
When I drifted off there
What was it I did?
Nothing comes back to me
But everyone is dead

And I was holding a knife in my hand
Now they're dragging me by the arm
Pull me up to face a solemn jury
I insist that I meant no harm

They give me time to reflect
I must remember soon
I won't get away from this
This is my high noon
I decide that insanity
Is my only cause
Now they know I'm lying
Since I locked all the doors

And I was holding a knife in my hand
Now they're giving me life in jail
Won't see light for the rest of my life
I know I flew off the rails

Downward Lilt

Are you changing your opinion of me
Since you saw me walk into the sea?
In the blinding darkness of this night
I shake for the cold, not for the fright
If I hadn't broken those unwritten laws
No-one would have seen my many flaws
I come closer to an answer to explain
Why I fell out of the loop again

There are rules that I must abide to
But we can't escape all the evil we do
Here come these times, our darkest hours
The lights go out from the loss of power
As time runs out, I will still struggle
I can see my visions panic in a huddle
This will have to be a crash landing
Don't give in to what life is demanding

Just tell me where I have to begin
If it's quiet enough I could drop a pin
All of these years later and I'm still timid
My ticket into here was never valid
This lump in my throat will be swallowed
The confidence they have will be borrowed
A last chapter full of my own delusions
Seems a good place to draw my own conclusions

The Final Petal

I can still try to believe in beauty
But I can only try so hard
You believe everyone must fulfil a duty
And place other's feelings under guard
You get a feeling you won't see me in the morning
I sense the mystery of the other side calling
You know that soon things are going to change
I realise that my mood swings are strange

I'll try to hold on until my last gasp
But I can only try a while
You can see me losing my grasp
And grip on reality's trials
You get the idea that you know what I need
I sense that life is passing me by at speed
You know the truth, I'm covered in fear
I realise that I'm stuck in first gear

At the right angle I can see another place
The other place where life has no pace
At the right time I will make my way there
Make my way there and lay myself bare

A Gift For You

By the dawn, I will have gone
You will smile, cry for a while
Then you'll see, you won't miss me
Call a friend, a message to send
Cut talk short, file a report
Who lost who, we have no clue
We know this, it was amiss
Let go now, move on somehow

I want nothing more, from nature's flaws
I want nothing else, my ice will melt
My glass will empty, pour more whiskey
To cut through this chill, with time to kill
Breathe in more deeply, air comes cheaply
Get something for free, the sky or sea
It could all be yours, sweat through ill pores
I'll not remember, by December

Wind the clock, that time forgot
It will chime, always on time
Take it down, smashed on the ground
Now time stops, and we both drop
All old junk, so let's get drunk
On our own, other time zones
For the best, not for the rest
Best laid plans, my theory stands

Waking from my dreams, to hear more screams
Waking from my thoughts, to an onslaught
Of more tears from you, was I so cruel?
Show me why you care, give me a scare
Fair-weather rival, no survival
Those who know will run, their time has come
Mixed-up and shattered, my words scattered
A brilliant touch, I've had enough

Getting Back To Nature

The person you're talking to isn't me anymore
Step back and take a closer look
The eyes are mine but they are worn like the rest of me
The world I'm in is where I'm stuck
You certainly intrigue me to beyond my core
That is as far as it will go
Let me stand up now, let me finish my journey
I move like the tide's ebb and flow

Forever seems like nothing compared to this wait
Crawling towards my final goal
I'll arrive at that land I have seen in my dreams
Away from my own lonely hole
Perhaps somewhere out there I have a true soul mate
However I travel too light
To cope with two people I'll leave that to the streams
A consciousness ever so slight

All of the time reading through the special features
An answer comes from the forest
Glaring in these eyes I fall to my knees again
I am just another tourist
Just how can I deal with all these daily creatures
That are visiting me nightly?
I know exactly where, I know exactly when
The answer stopped shining brightly

Let me live.

This Hateful Poison

This hateful poison is killing me slowly
I'm taking such a large dose daily
Time is irrelevant since it's all the same
But I still worried when our time came
I hope you're happy wherever you are now
How much pain can my senses allow?
I know that I'm having trouble moving on
You will always be my only one

Now my days are empty, and days are aplenty we know
The clock seems to stand still, and I knew my watch would slow

This hateful poison is killing me faster
I'm surprised at how long I've lasted
Time is suspiciously sneaking around me
That hours been and gone and I'm breathing barely
I hope they find me and fall to the floor
Onto their knees to surrender their war
Move me off to another side
If you hurry you'll catch the high tide

Now my days are empty, and days are aplenty we know
The clock seems to stand still, and I knew my watch would slow

Another Mistake

Artificial feelings kept us afloat
But then you had to go and rock the boat
Tipped us out into the heartbreak ocean
My heart was split by this commotion
Did I say something out of place?
Was something not said face to face?
Could this disaster have been averted?
Save me from being alone and deserted

Counting up the days that pass
Good times pass me by so fast
Reaching out for something new
Searching for the greatest view

I'm in conflict with everything
I'm not giving up I'm sick of trying
What made me lose my grip on it all?
I'm wet through and pinned against my wall
I persecute myself day, night and noon
From the first ray of sun to the full moon
It's a sad story made up in my head
Leave me here talk to someone else instead

Counting up the days that pass
Good times pass me by so fast
Reaching out for something new
Searching for the greatest view

Matter Of Opinion

Am I mad, bad and dangerous to know?
It's hard to be anything when so low
So many people fade away from me
Constitute a direction left or right
The colours are only black and white
All of these locks which are the right keys?

A balanced diet of nothing healthy
Everyone knows my life is tawdry
It hurts to walk around with no meaning
Nowadays it's so easy to burn
From your unhappiness I want to turn
I'll give my life a thorough spring-cleaning

They give me a whence and a whither
The old times fade like a ghostly figure
Everyone has a day for being sad
It's all just the same as it's ever been
All recorded behind the same screen
That's what is driving the whole world mad

If you can have your own life so can I
To do with as I please and one day die
Bereft of inspiration on that day
If I glance over my life in whole
My heart has turned black and stolen my soul
These words are written and lost today

Copper Handshake

It's like an invitation
To join the people I have lost
It's a real situation
A stress that's equal to the cost
It's all coming back to me
The need to be part of a group
It's not just an inner plea
We scream our way out of this loop

It's all just another flaw
The plans are scattered to the winds
It's the answer that I draw
The blood of the healthy will thin
It's a story that's been told
Another paper summary
It's a heart that has grown cold
Start the running commentary

It's a trite conspiracy
And a failure of circumstance
It's a case pushed out to sea
That doesn't get a second chance
It's throwing the argument
Belief in lies that are proved true
It's burning our testament
Chasing down those abundant few

It's that book again snapped shut
Again that door shut in my face
It's a point that was well-put
Enjoy the wonder of the chase
It's nothing but a light breeze
Aside a day that seems so bright
It's time to do as you please
Lose all your policies tonight

Crossed Purposes

It's nothing but a petty smile
We're faking them for everyone
You may not see us for a while
After we have all been and gone
Are we not designed for coping?
Are we missing that vital part?
Are your opinions all sloping?
Are you tracing it to the start?

You don't want me on your conscience
Give yourself some more time alone
Take my lonely life for instance
I can feel better on my own
Are we ready for destiny?
Are we losing our lack of sight?
Are you stealing our sanity?
Are you putting up your own fight?

You're all over this room at once
I can't seem to handle this guilt
My feelings are just a nuisance
I now burn the bridges I built
Are we just pictures on display?
Are we here for no real value?
Are you filling us with dismay?
Are you blocking our only view?

The arrival of our hero
Will not save us from ourselves
It's at the loneliness bureau
Where into my mind I will delve
Are we seeing any pattern?
Are we nothing but witnesses?
Are you holding up a lantern?
Are you all oozing witlessness?

Solitary Refinement

I'm scared to even put one foot wrong
I don't want to be labelled and strung up
A case of someone whose love is too strong
I close my eyes I know I've had enough

Telling the time using a stopped clock
We are all bound by the same simple rules
My usual stance steady as a rock
But I loosen my grip we're not all fools

Leaving my cup of tea to go dry
The plate of biscuits is left to gain dust
Your opinion have all gone awry
I can turn a maybe into a must

My fear and pain follow me around
I've failed to shake them off they're both still here
But as always I won't make a sound
For my feelings are out and crystal clear

I'm scared to use up all of my time
Running out of words that I can't possess
My thoughts aren't worth ten pence or a dime
I've forgotten who I'm trying to impress

All hail the emptiness that's inside
We all have a black hole to hide words in
Everyone else can only deride
That's an act that is tantamount to sin

Impending Doom

A thousand gallons of poison flow through this town
All the trees are dying, frozen in the ground
The air here is not fit for anyone alive
Why is there any hope, when we cannot survive
Being praised for being monosyllabic
Being ignored for being symbollic

When the world seems to be snapping at your heels
Then you will know how everybody else feels
There is nothing I can do to stop the monster
Everyone nowadays wants to get it faster
Most of the time they don't even know what they want
But everyone knows that they want cheap amusement

I fought hard to get to this stage
I fought hard to open this cage
I can make a patron saint lie
I can make believers ask why

Overthrow the systems and burn all of the books
Clear out every corner and clean up filthy looks
You could be done by the time it all starts over
Our world and more becoming a supernova
Burning out before we had a chance to live
Millions of planets all filtered through a sieve

Something evil is eyeing the land that we own
Writing warnings wearing my fingers to the bone
The choir is singing they'll raise their voices up high
Just short of the ionosphere they will fall shy
Humanity's last transmission will not be heard
No-one will ever know of our few final words

My Happy Medium

I forced myself to forget
Reminisce and remember
I'll cloak myself in regret
From now until December
When I will shed this old skin
And hopefully be reborn
My heart is now paper thin
For all my sins I will mourn
Find new ways of making sound
Now that I've become empty
All for one and one all round
Bitter tastes are aplenty
This smile must be what I missed
Walked straight past the owner's face
But I never did exist
I was just an empty space

I may have memories of discovery
But they float to the back of my mind
I can't let my foul emotions govern me
But I can't leave any of them behind

I've lived but I have not learned
That's why they've all cornered me
It's all my fault I was spurned
Show some envy, some pity
I make a complex pattern
With my head up in this cloud
A starved soul will be fattened
When I'm scattered in the crowd
This is a form of freedom
Shedding this useless body
I need no heaven's kingdom
Just a place free of worry
Let me slip away from you
Let me drop eternally
Let me at least see the truth
Let me die immortally

I may have memories of discovery
But they float to the back of my mind
I can't let my foul emotions govern me
But I can't leave any of them behind

Can't Complain

Let's lift our eyes up to where we cannot see a thing
Let's try to understand the pain our lives will bring
Starting over after past events cannot be easy
Think of it as a favour to all of society
It's only fair that they get a break now and then
The question we must ask now is not where but when
Over that bridge is a fresh town to settle in
Where our brand new story of regrets can begin

Repeating yourself but the words have changed
Just to stay in our headlights
You're stuttering and stumbling all over again
Just to stay in our headlights

Everyone but me seems to be hilarious these days
Is it me or is life a collage of whites and greys?
Our escape can be in daylight or the twilight hours
I don't want drizzle I want perpetual showers
This is easy to see but hard to understand
If my life is an hourglass where do they keep the sand?
Send me all your letters from the world outside
No-one can ever say that I did not try

Repeating yourself but the words have changed
Just to stay in our headlights
You're stuttering and stumbling all over again
Just to stay in our headlights

We won't give you the time of day until you frown
We know you're scared of heights so just don't look down
We'll lift you up so you can be free of your woes
We might even tell you how the old story goes

Grabbed

Jumbled-up words that all make sense
Spitting out infinitives in the past tense
Several mistakes, one solution
This is the start of my own revolution
Feelings are so hard to define
My thoughts go full-circle, my heart in a line

At least I made a move this time
I have yet to become a man in his prime
Still a boy is how I remain
They have whole beaches I only have a grain
This is just another escape
Another person running away on tape

We know you were gone far too long
All this time I thought I could do nothing wrong
My senses tried hard to commit
Now they're turned over and ready to submit
I tried my hardest to be dead
Everyone saw my feelings and I was read

I'm better alone it's written
I wait for the clock to strike again on ten
Sitting alone for thirteen days
I've heard it all before, I'm set in my ways
Why live in this failure's pretence?
I can sit back and watch the world's decadence

The picture blurs as the rain falls
The music shakes even the sturdiest walls
We're all struck down and overcome
Just what are these wastes of skin we've all become
A puzzle solved shows us nothing
All I can do is keep my life on a string

Thankfully Lost

Since when were airbags lethal weapons?
Since when was electioneerering all it took?
We're all lucky in a manner of speaking
The case against humanity is open and shut
We won't rest until our opponents are crushed
Their bones shattered and ground into dust
Those who oppose us sulk in the shadows
But we all know our war is just

Destroy it all and then destroy the ruins
Raze it all to the ground
Carry on regardless of those who care
You're no fun to be around

Try to keep everything in its right place
Keep all your opinions optimistic
Don't be in limbo over your decisions
Sing the national anthem and trust the poly ticks
You and whose army will stop us now?
Pull the knives out and hope and pray
Having more luck hunting bears
But I might be wrong you say

Destroy it all and then destroy the ruins
Raze it all to the ground
Carry on regardless of those who care
You're no fun to be around

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Both of them masters of turbulence
Get ready for a bumpy ride
Look through their act of innocence
Not a good idea to take sides
"I'll change" was the promise he made
I haven't seen changes yet
She's regretting letting him stay
It feels like she's lost a bet

I love this place but I can't wait to leave
Leave all my pain behind me
Things are never as simple a